Last night I decided to rewatch the entire POTC trilogy before I went to bed.  Around 3:30am I saw Will and Elizabeth reunited after ten years, heaved a conflicted sigh, and set off toward the bathroom to refill my water bottle and brush my teeth.

That was when they attacked.

Ratsplosion 2013 )

I woke up this morning with a rat in my hair.  We've had a maintenance man come to patch the holes but he was unable to find any and announced that the rats must have come in through the open windows, and that they don't live here.  He then opened the cabinet under the sink to be met with a small rat, who he believes is the shuffly fifth roommate who has been singing us to sleep for the past few weeks, and is (hopefully) the one in my hair.  An hour later an exterminator arrived to scatter rat poison and pass me a handful of cheap sticky traps.  We think that only the little guy is left, and our whole apartment is now booby-trapped in an effort to get rid of him.
So a few things.

My roommate and I (the one I share a room with, not the boys yet) have fallen into a really comfortable pattern lately, possibly because Thursday I freaked out about the mess and the rat, pulled the oven away from the wall, and spent two hours and as many brillo pads on the floor scrubbing away a tomato sauce stain left by the girl I replaced in the house nearly two months ago.  It was FOUL but I feel so much better now that it's gone.  When she came home she saw the oven and gasped that it looked brand new, and ever since we've been giggling and conspiring about getting the boys to clean up after themselves and all in all it's just been really pleasant.  She's invited me out a few times but made it clear that she understands my preference for staying in a quiet, comfortable, internet-enabled space.  It was so respectful.  I'm really pleased.

I'm still waiting on a job.  My dad finally sealed the deal on selling my old viola, so I got just enough money for rent and one of my student loans from that.  I have probably enough for another month left in my Target savings, but I'd really rather have an income.  I want to buy an electric rat trap so badly... and a lot of other things.  The amazing receptionist job said they hadn't made a decision yet and were postponing everything until "early next week", ie tomorrow or so.  I feel sure that I'm the best candidate given my dedication and persistence, but now I'm starting to worry that they might have decided not to fire the other girl at all.  I'm still sending out résumés, but my heart is with that position.

Lastly, I randomly decided to return to fanfiction!  There was one unfinished story that has been haunting me for four years, so my priority is to get the rest out.  I sat down with a notepad document and came up with a plot that's twice as much fun as the vague idea I had before, but is also going to get pretty... well, violent, graphic, and disturbing.  But if a story didn't have those things it wouldn't really be me writing it, now would it?  Sigh.  I'll try my best not to push it too much further than, say... Fanteeney Todd.  Remember that one?  I'm still proud of that ending.

Anyway, the story is here obviously, "Zwischen Abgrund und Schein", and it's going to take a new turn that I hadn't originally committed to.  I'm pretty pleased.  For anyone who wasn't around four years ago or who doesn't remember the story, the concept is that Marius is in a depression-like funk, Cosette is very pregnant, and they take in a stray homeless chick who shakes up their comfort zone.  There's also de Lotbinière, which was a shoutout to the Québec girls, the first internet friends I ever met in real life.  The new chapter is probably kinda shaky because there of that brief hiatus, but I feel like I'll bring it all into place soon.
lesmisloony: (omg enjy)
HI SO I went to a job interview today and if I get that job I think it will solve 99% of my problems.

It's a receptionist job for a small insurance company on Wall Street (actual Wall Street, so fancy!) and it's actually a straight shot to get there from my apartment with no train-switching or anything.  It's a dressy-casual office (most everyone was in jeans!) mostly full of young people (the girl who interviewed me had never done an interview before and was wearing a slouchy sweater) and I'd learn not only receptionist work, but also administrative assistant and any extra PA stuff the boss needs done.  Everyone there was friendly and relaxed and awesome and chatty and I already REALLY wanted the job before they told me the salary

which is

between 33K and 38K a year

meaning like $680 a week minimum

AND they told me that with my experience (answering phones at Target and various cinemas) I could even negotiate for MORE




I'll know by Wednesday they said.  I was the first person they interviewed, and I hope SO HARD that anyone else they interview after me is a total asshole because pleaaase I want that job SO BADLY
Well, after Scamgate 2013 I became borderline furious with craigslist and remembered my mom saying nice things about  I opened a free account there this morning, sent out my résumé five times with a few easy clicks (and short cover letters typed into the appropriate boxes) and next thing I know I have an interview scheduled for Monday!  A real interview too, not a yahoo messenger one.  When I called my mom to tell her she asked what the job was, so I said "well, they're going to send me a check-" and then got a big kick out of her shocked gasp.  No no, not falling for that again.  Sigh.

Actually I don't really remember which job it is that I'm going to... let me go check.  Okay, according to the website that was linked in the emails they sent me, it's some kind of a marketing company (and marketing/advertising was a field I was somewhat interested in, along with publishing and translation) and the ad I answered said they wanted entry-level management in twelve different fields.  I don't care what field, I just want a steady full-time job!  Anyway, management in any of the twelve fields they need would be a step up on my résumé from the retail jobs I've been dealing with thus far.  Plus it's an office job rather than a store job, and that was my goal!  All in all, not bad for a day's work!  I just hope they take me.  I did some math, and the minimum income I can live off of (if you take in rent, utilities, metrocard, student loans, phone [actually I doubled what I'm paying now because I reeaalllly want a smartphone], and brown rice meals) is about $1100 a month.  They told me to come in ready to tell them what I wanted to be paid, so I decided I'd say about $15 an hour, but would be willing to start lower and work hard to reach that point.  I'm never sure what it is that employers want to hear when they ask that question, so my mom helped me brainstorm.  If I could do $15/hr in a full-time position, I'd have an extra thousand a month for savings... or to buy furniture.  Or to eat more than a serving of brown rice from my giant vat each meal.  Heck, I would maybe even be able to afford my own studio apartment within a year or so!

My other issue besides jobs right now is health stuff.  I've made an appointment for the end of the month with a doctor who was VERY highly recommended on yelp, but I keep having second thoughts.  He isn't an MD, but has a really long list of qualifications that I logically realize must be valid, but the Southerner in me (do-what-the-government-says,-other-countries-don't-know-shit) is still really wary.  I'm going to talk to him about my blood-thinner decisions and stuff like that.  I was looking for a doctor who focuses more on nutrition and lifestyle and less on treating symptoms with drugs, especially after my previous doctor was thoughtless enough to give me a medication that will almost definitely lead to vitamin K deficiency if taken for drawn-out periods of time and then tell me I would have to take it for the rest of my life without ever mentioning the risk.  I feel like western medicine relies too much on immediacy: what are your symptoms NOW? how can we make it better NOW?  rather than the whole picture: what might have brought this on? how can you change your lifestyle to avoid this in the future?  So yeah, I guess I am going to the right doctor for all that, but the lack of the letters "MD" still makes me antsy for some reason.

For a much smaller victory, I've been dealing with congestion for the past week, and it's really getting me down.  I simultaneously can't breathe and have snot literally drip out of my nose sometimes without me realizing it.  My lips are so chapped they're cracked, and sleeping is absolutely tedious.  I was googling to see what kind of medicine I should buy when I go to the pharmacy to renew my blood thinners tomorrow, and I stumbled across the concept of a neti pot.  Intrigued at the idea of solving the problem with salt and water rather than drugs (that apparently can lead to addiction and an even worse bout of congestion when you stop taking them), I nicked a squeeze bottle from the kitchen, filled it with warm salty water, and did my best to emulate a neti pot.

It. Was. Instantaneous.  The process was messy since the bottle wasn't quite doing the job the right way, but when I finally did manage to get a little bit of a trickle out the other nostril (without it all going down my throat and making me panic like a kid drowning in a pool) I immediately felt it all clearing up.  Once I get the real pot and get the hang of the head tilt, I feel like this would be a cinch to incorporate into a morning or evening routine to keep my nose clear... maybe forever!  So yeah, I'm all excited about neti pots this evening.
Not sure what I'm feeling...

Thanks to the people who helped point out what should have been obvious to me re: the craigslist scams.  I blithely didn't see a way that those approaches would backfire, though obviously the whole thing seemed VERY strange.  I'm glad people helped me catch it before it cost me or got me into trouble.

I just really want a job.

Like... I want to have money again.  I want to be able to grab a Subway sandwich if I want to, or to try the famous New York pizza everyone talks about.  Even when I was an au pair I could usually justify buying a pair of shoes here and there, but with no income I totally panic and stop spending anything at all.  My roommates won't stop shaming me for sticking around the apartment.  I don't think they realize that $2.50 for a one-way trip in the métro is really unreasonable and adds up.

I'm considering getting the kind of job I was hoping to avoid, like retail or waitressing, and then trying for an unpaid internship just for the sake of getting experience somewhere, but I don't know if that kind of thing could really work.  I think I got really depressed today because all my responses from craigslist (except one that didn't go anywhere after a week of "maybes") turned out to be scams.

I'd accidentally started thinking about what I could do with all the money they promised I'd make, you know?  For starters, I want a mattress.  I want to pay off my student loans.  I want a bed frame.  I want warm winter-appropriate shoes.  I want to have meals rather than make one big vat of brown rice and vegetables and eat off of that for two weeks.  I want that giant portrait of the Seine that I saw in Ikea the other week.

I miss Paris every day, and it's making me gloomy.  I really thought being in a big city would help, but I picked a terrible time to come out here.  It's too cold to really explore and I'm too poor to spend much money on the subway, so I'm stuck in a really crummy neighborhood remembering how sweet and gorgeous Paris was.  Just aesthetically I miss Paris, and I miss the métro.

I'm kind of bummed out, I guess.  I knew not to put 100% of my faith in that job thing the way I knew not to develop too much attachment to Maktav: when I got let down as I suspected I eventually would, it hurt a lot more than it was supposed to.
Okay, so yesterday I got an email back from one of the thousands of craigslist postings to which I'd sent my résumé.  They told me that their HR person was online on yahoo messenger and waiting to talk to me.  I tried to click the link in the email to go back and see which ad it was (I've answered A LOT) and it said that the posting had been flagged for removal.

Anyway, I added the HR lady's handle to my yahoo messenger thing (I'd never used the service before) and after a while (I had to actually email her and tell her my name and that I was ready for the "interview") she finally showed up with a "Hello".  She began copy-pasting things into the chat, and her spelling was... questionable, to say the least.  Random words were capitalized in sentences, for instance, and "chose" was substituted for "choose" in one place, etc.  I rationalized that maybe English wasn't her first language.

She described a computer company (and linked a website) that had begun its life in MN and was looking to move to a new location.  I inferred that she meant NYC.  She said that for three weeks they would need someone to work up to eight hours a day, faxing, doing data entry, things like that.  I answered a quick questionnaire that weirdly didn't touch on any of my skills, and after a few moments told me I'd been approved for the job, congratulating me a lot.  She then said that I was going to need all new equipment--computer, fax machine, software, etc--and that they were going to send me a check and instructions on where and what to buy.  She told me to be online again at 8am for the next stage of my training.

This morning I logged into yahoo messenger at 7:45 and she was ready with a "Hello".  I'd quickly learned that showing personality was pretty pointless, since the responses I was getting were very flat.  The whole thing was very suspicious, especially when I realized that yahoo messenger, unlike skype, AIM, and every other messaging program I know, doesn't save past chats.  This morning she told me that I would soon receive a check for a large sum of money, and I would deposit it into my account, keep $100 for myself, buy Quickbook software, and then send the rest to the manufacturer who would send me my new stuff.  She even asked if I would be able to cash a check or if I would have to deposit it.  She then said that tomorrow she would give me more information at 8am, and bid me a good day.

Obviously I wasn't going to plan on any of this being true until the cash started rolling in, but through all my suspicions I still couldn't see how I had given them an opportunity to scam me.  They only had my name and address, not my bank account or anything!  It wasn't until my roommate started telling me about scams where you deposit a check and send the money off before you learn that the check is fake, and then the money has to come from your account... or something like that?

Anyway, I know the whole thing is hella shady-seeming, which is why a few moments ago I used the website I was provided to contact the company and ask if this HR lady was a real person and I had a real job.  Just in case it is somehow all true, I put in some sort of "it just seems a little too good to be true!" line so I wouldn't be thought of as ungrateful or what-have-you.  But yeah, the whole thing seems really odd, and I'm not giving up the job hunt till I feel secure.

What do you guys think?
OKAY so I started translating this GREAT 49 minute interview with the MOR Troupe in Russia (where they currently are), and it was amazing like, the mystery of Mikele's wristrags was explained and Flo saying he's better than Harry Potter and they talked about wanting to go to other cities and they were giggling and being precious AND I PAUSED IT 20 MINUTES IN TO MY TRANSLATION TO GO GET SOME RICE AND WHEN I CAME BACK THE VIDEO HAD BEEN REMOVED BY THE USER


Here is a translation of the first half of the conversation, complete with commentary on how cute they are by me.

Read more... )

And that's where I paused it to go get rice. JUST AS IT WAS GETTING GREAT! Anyway, we now know where Mikele lives, what the story is behind the wristrags, that Flo is a LOTR fan and a Potterhead, and THAT THERE WILL PROBABLY BE MORE OF THESE SYMPHONIC MOR CONCERTS IN THE FUTURE.


Read even more... )

And Melissa is about to talk about her album when the video ends.


ETA again: In a quest to drive me over a cliff into an abyss of madness, someone has found another twenty minutes of this interview.

Read the most... )
The Troupe says "bye-bye" into the camera and waves.

So, I've expressed a lot of interest in moving toward a natural route to keeping my blood thin rather than taking this damn Coumadin forever, yes?

How about when I talked to my doctor about it she told me that fish oil wouldn't work because Coumadin exists to fight Vitamin K in your blood, and fish oil doesn't do the same thing, so fish oil won't show up on an INR test. I just sorta said okay and moved on.

Anyway just now I was googling about, trying to figure out which direction I should take my health care in here in NYC, and... I found this article. Assuming you aren't gonna read that, let me pull out the best part:

It certainly thins the blood, but it does so by "poisoning and killing off" the vitamin K in your body. Over enough time, the near-total lack of vitamin K will (not "could" -- WILL) cause osteoporosis, arterial calcification, cognitive malfunction, and many, many other problems.


Vitamin K isn't MY enemy. Vitamin K is this medication's enemy, because the INR is only able to measure the presence of Vitamin K in your blood. They're going to tear my body apart to try to prevent this ONE freak occurence from coming back despite the precautions I've been taking??? I'm actually crying a little bit right now. I'm so angry that not one of those doctors told me this. Not one person ever made this clear. They made me believe I would never taste broccoli or spinach again.

The article goes on to say that FISH OIL is a natural blood thinner, like I fucking said. And a SAFE one. There is a long, awful list of side effects to Coumadin.

That's it. I'm done after April. I will take my last Coumadin pill on the eve of my 24th birthday, and then I'm fucking throwing the bottle out the window.
I know I haven't posted in a while, but I figured this was a good time to use this icon.

Taking the Amtrak to my uncle's house in Jersey, then tomorrow or maybe Saturday he'll escourt me to East Harlem, where my new apartment awaits! I paid three months' rent, wifi, and keys, and I still have $876 in one account and $100 in my new Bank of America account, plus an interview with a temp agency on Monday and the possibility to transfer to the East Harlem Target! All in all, they all saaaaid it couldn't be done! But it can be DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE
lesmisloony: (squee ChanTho)
Things are finally coming up roses again!

1. I got that roomshare secured in NYC where I'll only be paying $350 a month for a place in East Harlem. The roommate seems cool and legit, so fingers crossed I don't start/stumble into any drama.

2. When I went to put in my notice at Target, they offered to keep me on the payroll an extra week and then transfer me to the East Harlem Target which, according to yelp, is new, largely undiscovered, quiet, and clean.

3. My parents agreed to buy my train ticket since they have the AAA discount, and my uncle agreed to meet me at a stop in NJ, let me come stay the night at the family home up there, then accompany me into the city the next morning.

4. Randomly sent my résumé to a temp agency last night, and this morning they called me back and were ready to set up an interview like five minutes from now, but agreed to push it to February 4th, the first weekday after I stumble into NYC.

So :D
(The first time I made that smiley I did a D: because I've been using that one so much more lately.)
Here's the latest version of the upper thigh tattoo I want, now named the "fandom collision tattoo".

Obviously a real artist could make the words not sloppy, but this is a mockup to give me an idea. I also like to attempt to doodle it on me with marker every once in a while just to see how I feel about the idea, and I'm a lot more positive about it than I was the ribcage tattoo. That idea bit the dust immediately.

I'm waiting till Dr Who's 50th anniversary to actually spring for this, though, which gives me plenty of time to change my mind some more.
Thanks for fretting with me, guys. I kind of figured it wasn't anything urgent because the doctors in the French hospital told me when I went for my one-week checkup that having made it up eight flights of stairs earlier that day meant I was almost definitely clot-free, and yesterday I did a fifteen minute starter jogging thing again... basically, if I'd had a blood clot in my lungs, I would have passed out, and I knew that, but when that tightness was still there at the end of the day and I had jogged that MORNING I kind of freaked out. I mean, you would if you were me.

BUT I am scheduling a doctor's appointment before my move anyway so I know how to transfer my INR appointments, my rat poison prescription, and I also want to discuss my natural substitutes idea with her... I know American doctors are heavily paid by pharmacies to sign people up for their pills, but I like to think my doctor and I have seen enough of each other that she'll understand and take pity on me. I don't know if I've mentioned it here, but the doctor at the American hospital told me he thought I should take blood thinners indefinitely (that's $12 a month for the pills and at least $30 each time I get my finger pricked to test the INR, which is at least once a month but occasionally more frequently). I did some research and am convinced that taking Omega 3 supplements and focusing my diet on more food that naturally thins blood (I have a list) and harshly limiting anything with vitamin K *should* do an adequate enough job, along with regular exercise and a promise to never again take birth control or sit still for more than a few hours at a time. I want to talk to her about that--I'll even agree to keep getting my finger pricked for the first few months I'm off the rodenticide--and my parents' pharmacist friend. ANYWAY I'm also going to mention my little scare (and the sinus infection I've been fighting since Christmas) when I'm there.

The thing is, I get really really paranoid about any sort of irregular chest thing... obviously. Like, sometimes my bra is too tight and I start writing out my last will and testament. So basically what I assume happened is I went running for the first time in six months on a really fucking cold day after having not-quite recovered from a stubborn sinus infection, and what was left of the infection got agitated in my lungs and irritated me for the rest of the day. By the time I woke up it was gone, and there was no sign of it all day today. Were it another pulmonary embolism, the running probably would have knocked me out and it would be getting worse, not better.

So yeah, no worries, but I will mention it to my doctor within the next couple weeks (and you can bet your asses I'll be on red-alert until then).
lesmisloony: (The Moon D:)
dear god please don't let this weird tightness in my chest be another blood clot

ain't nobody got time or money for that

i have been very active since i got back to america and today i actually went running again but when i inhale it feels weird ever since and i want it to just be some chest congestion left over from the cold i had for a couple weeks

american hospitals are such shit and my life is finally coming together so now is not a good time for more hospital, like it's pretty much the worst possible time

hello do you copy

i will eat hummus until my blood is thinner than water if i have to

no more clots please

On the heels of all my complaining I was doing last night comes a chipper update!

Today I went to see the LM movie (for free because it was noon and we couldn't find anyone in the cinema to sell us tickets???) then went out to eat with the only friends who have bothered to contact me since I got home (and we've hung out TWICE now btw), then we went back to the cinema and saw The Hobbit in 3D! What a good day wow.

Then I get home and met... my new roommate!

We're doing a four people to a two bedroom apartment deal, so she's literally my roommate and not my flatmate or what-have-you, but she's adorable and a film major and partway through our conversation went on a small rant about Disney secretly promoting homophobia and when she asked if I had any pets I said no but I really want a hedgehog and she flailed her arms around in the air and offered to be a party to my dream of having an underground hedgehog breeding ground in NYC. Plus I don't need to bring ANY furniture and don't need to sign a lease! I can stay till about November 2013 or less, whatever works, and if I'm enjoying myself and the rent doesn't go up she's planning to sign the lease again and if we can afford it we might go down to two people with separate rooms.

It's East Harlem, by the way, and the other two flatmates will be boys, one of which is apparently the sweetest guy ever and the other of which is TBA.

Anyway, it's set, I can put in my notice at Target, I can buy my train ticket, because on February 1st I will finally be moving to NYC!

Oh and did I mention--the rent is $350 a month???

Now I'm trying to figure out temp agencies because my savings will run out pretty fast after I pay my deposit.

Oh, and from now on this is what the "my roommate" tag will be about, so yay!

New Year's Resolution: quit looking back and missing all those people who don't actually miss me.

So living with my parents is getting weird because I keep wanting to *talk* about stuff and my mom just will not BUDGE to my level.

Like, I wanted to discuss that I might be at least moderately aromantic. Dating stuff has never really interested me further than the pressures I felt to do it since the world told me that was what I was supposed to want, but when I've actually had boyfriends it's fine but I don't want to do "romantic" things like eat at restaurants or watch the sunset or receive flowers. I've NEVER fantasized about getting married--in fact, the times in my life when I did want a husband or boyfriend it was because I was feeling more insecure than usual and wanted proof that I could be attractive.

I tried to broach this topic of conversation, but my mom just smacked it down by saying that she thought I was calling myself aromantic because I'm trying to seal myself off from relationships out of insecurity.

It's an interesting idea and I can see why she would think that, but I'm not as insecure these days--actually, I'm at a point where I KNOW there are people who are attracted to me (most of the guys at work go out of their way to say hi every single time they pass me in the store, and three already asked for my number [confidence is fun]) but if I ever move toward any kind of relationship I feel myself putting on the brakes and going "uhghhh no can you just stop". It's more like I don't want to waste the emotional energy on a human.

When I was with Vincent, I liked having him around and everything but I didn't want long walks on the beach, I just wanted someone to lie on while I watched Doctor Who. And that was fine but it didn't feel essential.

When I'm single I feel like dating is the worst idea ever. The idea of walking down an aisle in a fancy dress with everybody staring at you makes me uncomfortable to the tips of my fingers. It might be a combination of cynicism, old insecurities, and self-centeredness, but whatever the reason it's culminated in me not giving a shit about seeking relationships or what-have-you, and it irritates me that she's always acting like this is just a phase.

DEAR ADULTS OF THE WORLD: when I say at the age of twenty-three that I hate the idea of childbirth and have ZERO intention of doing it, I am not going through a goddamn phase, especially since I have also said this ever since I can freakin REMEMBER. When I say that marriage isn't important to me and never has been, why would you put on that smug face and tell me I'm going to change my mind when Mr Right comes along?

I don't really believe in "Mr Right" or soulmates or true love... I think it's a relationship like any other that takes work and grows and changes over time. Maybe someday I'll get that, but SO WHAT IF I DON'T NEED IT?

Why did I make this post... probably because I'm so ready to move out of here and STILL ON SQUARE ONE.

Alright bye, gonna draw my future tattoo on my upper thigh again just to admire it.
This is gonna have to be my new tradition. I also did 2009 and 2011.

Seems to me now that the dreams we had before are all dead, nothing more than confetti on the floor )

Ew I ended it on a sour note. Well this has been kind of a sour year. I mean for other people I guess it would be a fine year (minus nearly dying and finding out your friends don't care about you) but to fill out this quiz I was deleting my answers from LAST year when I had become the world's best groupie and recently been deflowered by my then-celebrity crush and followed that up with three first dates in one weekend, so like... deleting that and throwing in how stupid this year as been made me crankier and crankier.

Let's hope next year I'll be able to delete these answers and fill in something a lot perkier.
Let's see.

1. The Merlin finale was perhaps the most perfect and beautiful finale ever and I've been listening to "You're the Voice" on repeat for about fifteen minutes at full volume.

2. The LM movie obviously wasn't a carbon copy of the musical or of the Book but for gods SAKE people it was one of the most accurate movie renditions ever and IT WAS ALSO THE MUSICAL *AND* THE GENERAL PUBLIC LIKES IT so anyone who wants to complain about it needs to expect me to roll my eyes HARD at your sorry ass.

3. The Hobbit was really good and I want to go back and see it in 3D because I missed PJ's cameo. So glad everyone else in the world loves Aidan Turner now. I read the book when I was a small child and don't remember a lot of specifics but if that dwarf dies I will be so so sad. As if losing Mitchell wasn't bad enough. NOBODY SPOIL ME.


4. oh yeah doctor who is still a show that's being made, almost forgot. I liked the Christmas special even though it didn't make much sense. Wish Clara wasn't flirting with the Doctor. We need more Donnas. But overall she was pretty great. Too much ableism from the Doctor directed at Strax, which made me uncomfortable, but the Vastra-Jenny-Strax team is great. Memory worm was unnecessarily gross. Why not just retcon people, Doc?
I kind of hit a breaking point in this stupid apartment/roommate search last night, and this morning it was only underscored by one of my roommate-maybe options officially backing out. I'm just so worn down by all this bullshit.

So I'm thinking... I know some of my lj friends are in or have been in or around the DC area... what's that like? I might broaden my search. I mean, yes, it was always a dream to live in NYC, but right now I just want public transportation and to be able to afford rent. Anyway, DC is halfway to NYC on the Amtrak line, so if I have to get to New York for anything--say, MOR--I probably could. You know, unless I had a job that didn't cut me any slack. But still. It's on my radar now. I've heard that public transportation is great there and all.

Anyway, I have a long list of temp agencies I guess I might apply to and one of them is Professionals for Nonprofits, which pleases my humanitarian side. They have headquarters both in NYC and DC apparently.

The only thing is I have a pretty solid idea of what's cool about NYC, but the all I know about living in DC is there's good public transportation and, you know, politics stuff.

Anyway, I am pretty damn exhausted by this whole search. There's still one girl on my roommate radar but she's kind of lax about answering emails and I'm getting a strong impression that she's either not serious enough or too freaked out by the idea of moving out of her parents' place to actually get anything done.

I mean, I'd prefer New York because I've wanted to live there since I was a kid, but at this point I'm getting really complacent about living with my parents and I need something to kick my ass out the door... but it won't be easy to leave a situation where I essentially don't have to pay for anything at all. So I'm uncomfortable going anywhere without knowing I'll be able to find a source of income once I get there... but I also am not sure if I'm supposed to get there and then find work or find work and then get there. HOW DO I ADULT
lesmisloony: (lol amadeus)

Okay, so it started out with Aidan Turner (you may know him as Mitchell from Being Human or the dick from Desperate Romantics or, more recently, the one hot dwarf in the Hobbit movie) showing up at my house and apparently we were old friends and I was actually the person to suggest him to an agent who got him a job as an extra in the LM film (he isn't in rl just to be clear) and later as that dwarf. Anyway, it also turns out that I had had a big crush on him before he left to be famous (makes sense) but here's the part that I find out that he also had a crush on me. So we're about to have dream!sex but he's a terrible kisser and I have morning breath, so in the end we kind of roll apart and walk away from each other, which is pretty disappointing.

Well, then I remember that today is the school musical at my old high school, and that the new head of the pit band is Nuno. So I go over to the school and find it set up for this little play, with Nuno sitting at the piano all ready to go. For some reason there are two stages with two audiences, and the one at the back of the room is just for the pit band, and the one at the front is just for whatever this play will be. I start to go to the pit band one but realize what the deal is and go to the other little theatre instead. While I'm sitting on these high bleachers, Nuno comes up to us and stares straight at me and asks if *someone* could come play second piano in the pit. I direct him toward these kids who went to high school with me because I feel animosity and am worried that Nuno is just trying to prove that he's a better pianist than I am. Then, while we're waiting for the show to start, I start wandering between the two theatres in a big circle. When I come back to the room where the show itself will be, it's filled with water so I decide to swim through it, but I get self-conscious that Nuno will think I'm a bad swimmer.

On the other side of the water is the performance space, and guess who the show is about--Flo! Who has moved to my hometown for some reason. In fact, the show is just about Flo wandering through his daily life. Later someone asks if it's good and someone else answers that if you already love Flo it'll be an amazing show, but if you don't know who he is you won't care at all. I go back to the bleachers where one of my high school bffs is sitting and I quickly tell her that since Flo is my biological father, that means I've accidentally committed incest. Because apparently in this dream me and Flo had hit the sheets at some point in the past. Also apparently I was adopted, because I had a photo and Flo and... Bérénice... hanging out together, so in this dream they were my biological parents? NEVER MIND THAT FLO IS ONLY EIGHT YEARS OLDER THAN ME. Also there was a lot of sex-related stuff in this dream which is pretty unusual for me but not disagreable.

So for a short while in the dream I was standing in for Flo as the "play" began, and basically I walked up to the front yard of his house loudly commenting on things in the way I assumed he would have done. When I got to the front yard there were skittles and candy eggs scattered around, so I started doing an Easter egg hunt which I guess was part of the show. There was also a big weird hole in front of the front steps leading up to the house, which I guess led into a basement, but it was gone later. There was also lunch set up on this picnic table, and apparently lunch was to be a glass jar filled with pasta. There was also a plate with a bit of butter on it, but there was a bunch of hair in the butter so ew. Well, I heard a cat calling for help inside the house, so I went in and found a ton more jars of pasta in the entryway to the house, and in two of them cats were trapped in the pasta. I was surprised because to my memory Flo only had one cat, this mean calico that he got to keep him company right after he moved to my hometown, but here were two adorable tiny kittens.

I freed the kittens from the pasta, and one of them (a talking kitten I guess?) took me on a tour of the house. Everywhere we looked there were more tiny cats, and by the time I reached the front room I had counted eleven. I looked out the window and saw Flo playing baseball, which I guess was part of the weird play he was doing, and I said something about how he was the best person ever. The kitten disagreed with me, saying he was actually a terrible master. I looked out the back window and saw my parents taking laps on a walking track that passed just behind the house. I could tell that they were all mad because they thought I was off somewhere losing my virginity (lol) so I called out to them and complimented them on the Snuggies they were wearing. My mom had a pink one and my dad had a blue one. They saw that I was fully clothed and not lying on my back somewhere and perked up. But then they came into the house, which made me uncomfortable because Flo didn't even know I was in there, and I was worried he'd be freaked out to see that that one fan (I guess we've dropped the idea that he's my biological father and we'd slept together) had broken into his hosue.

Meanwhile the kitten wanted to show me a hiding place where she thought another cat might be. There was a little water statue thing in the living room, and when she pressed a button it, like, cracked open dramatically and the water drained out and a big plant rose from beneath the floor. The kitten, who was in a human body at this point, started pulling the plant's pods apart because she thought that mean calico was sleeping in one of them. But all she kept finding were Jack's magic beans. Meanwhile, my grandmom and my parents were making dinner in Flo's kitchen and I was like GUYS WHEN FLO FINISHES PLAYING BASEBALL HE'S GOING TO COME IN HERE AND BE REALLY WEIRDED OUT. And then I finally woke up.

Idk, just wanted to share.
I keep almost posting to lj but not having that much to say. I have an outline for my third book finally. I'm still working 39 hours a week but it seems that will drop off next week because after Christmas it won't be as busy... I'm in talks with ANOTHER person to be my roommate but for chrissake i cant fucking trust ANYONE and i'm slowly learning to hate all of humanity and never have any friends again

oops that was bitterer than i usually am, just dont fucking get me started on failed roommates

ummm I'm weirdly addicted to Finding Bigfoot, like it's the only show I sit down at the tv to watch every week (Sunday nights at 10) because other shows I catch up with later online... I miss Conan and Jon Stewart REALLY BADLY because i tend to work past midnight, but hopefully once the store starts closing at 10 again they'll come back into my life...

guns shouldnt be legal for private citizens to own

i dyed my hair again

this icon is the first gif i ever made in my whole life and i cherish it

hope the world doesnt end before christmas

OH ALSO I finally opened a damn etsy shop! It's here and everyone should buy these dolls because they take three or more days to make and I'm selling them for stupidly low prices but I'm just worried people won't be willing to pay for them. Ugh. How come people will buy a $200 Tony Stark action figure but when I knit a doll of him WITH GLOW IN THE DARK ARC REACTORS and offer it for $26 no one gives a shit? I'm not internet-famous enough I guess.

January 2017

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