Okay, so I think it's been a long time since I posted an unlocked entry. My life is pretty busy most of the time, which I'm getting used to. It feels better than lying around on a futon all summer crying over flotos.
Speaking of crying over flotos, there is to be a MOR reunion concert on Monday November 7th around 10pm and guess who bought her ticket one hour after the announcement was made! I saw the news and literally started bouncing up and down and crying. ON SE REVERRA BITCHES. The parents are usually home by 7, which is dinner time, or 8 at the latest... if the mom gets home before dinner I'll ask if I can leave RIGHT THEN. The doors open at 9h30 and it'll take me a half an hour to get there but I don't want there to be any chance that I might not see them in person. It's free placement too, so if I get there early enough I can get right up in their faces. I'm hoping that since it's so late on a Monday night a lot of fans won't be able to come since a lot of the craziest ones weren't from Paris.
I also already have tickets to see MOR in 3D with German Lara. There's only ONE SCREENING in Paris! It would be fantastic if that meant awesome people would be there. You know they'll look cute in 3D glasses.
Speaking of seeing awesome people who look cute I finally got to see Patrice Maktav last Monday. I'm not sure how much of what he said I'm allowed to repeat, but I guess I can reveal that it looks unlikely that he'll be in Robin Hood but he DOES have plans to be in another show. He seemed kind of sure he would be in it but I don't think it's confirmed yet. He also wants to put out a CD of new songs. And he's still a sweetheart.
As for the host family, I know I was recently moaning about the mom lecturing me, and the other day I told the dad I needed to clean my room and at the end of the day he had seen it and agreed that it needed cleaning, but he chose to express that through a long speech about how when I get a job someday I'll have to be more organized than that and they're trying to teach the kids to clean up after themselves so I have to set them an example and blah blah blah. The thing is, the host family is very nice. They're just preachy. They want to make me be just like them since I'm living with them. Let me tell you something though, my room is a little messy right now, I have a tendency to set things on the floor instead of getting out of bed and putting them on a table, I tend to put clothes I've only worn once in a pile on a chair rather than back in the drawer or closet, but the way this room looks right now? It is STELLAR compared to the norm. Guess there's no point in telling him that though.
The family is very nice, but they just think their way is always the right way and aren't really open to correction or alternatives. And because of the position I'm in, I usually just kind of agree. One interesting thing is my host mom told me how my life is nothing but MOR and then she told me that I never ask about their lives and I need to be interested in them. That weekend crazy stuff happened to me, I ended up getting into a food fight with Gregory Deck, the next day I went to hang with Patrice, the day after I went to Shakespeare and Co and played their piano... but I waited to share all those things till she asked. She never asked. So who isn't interested in anyone else's life? I just kept my silence at the table, made sure Nilou the Nightmare Child was eating, and waited.
Speaking of Nilou the Nightmare Child, we are thick as thieves these days. I'm not sure when it happened or how, but that kid loves me to death. We really get along and it's great. He doesn't always do what I ask, but I can eventually make baths and things happen without tears or too much complaining. We horseplay, I fling him around and tickle him, it's going really well. Even the dad commented that we have a very good relationship, he said Nilou never tells him "J'aime PAS Ehreen!" He didn't finish the thought, but I knew what he was thinking... I have finally beaten Shantelle the Miracleworker at something. He was saying that it's easier for me to get along with Nilou this year since the other two kind of take care of themselves, and sure, I agree with that. Sometimes in the morning when he's still sulky he'll go "T'es PAS ma copine!" and I go "Ohhhhh nooooo!" and he flails a hand in my direction and one minute later he gets over it. More importantly, he is OBSESSED with C'est bientôt la fin. He constantly asks me "Est-ce que tu peux mettre Mozart dehors?" which translates as Can you put Mozart outside but he means can you put on the video where Mozart is outside... haha. And last time he was kind of trying to hum along. Then he asked to watch it again and spent the whole time poking the screen and going "C'est qui?" and I go "Melissa!" or whoever and he goes "J'aime bien elle!" Then he started just going "J'aime bien elle, j'aime bien lui, j'aime bien lui" (which is I like her, I like him, I like him) and when Flo came on he goes "C'est qui?" and I went "FLOWWWWW" and he goes "J'aime PAS lui!" and I went "Nooooooo! It's Flo, I LOVE Flo, I LLLLLOVE HIM!" and Nilou was like "Lui je l'aime PAS!" and I went NOOOOOO and it was actually really funny. When it was the whole crowd at the end he said he likes all of them, then asked me which was Flo and when I pointed he went Je n'aime pas lui!" it was SO funny.
Nilou has also started also repeating my English all the time, which I love. He found a stick in the park and said "Ça c'est big!" and when I go That's enough he says "Non c'est pas nuff!" It's very fun. I'm also giving English lessons on Saturdays to a neighbor kid, and she is ADORABLE. She seems to learn quickly and it's surprisingly easy for me to figure out what to teach her next. I make €13 for amusing myself for an hour with her.
Making dinner is getting easier, Mimi and I baked a cake together last Wednesday and, even though we were translating the recipe from cups to centiliters and kind of guessing at times it came out alright. A little bit chewier than a cake should be, but hella delicious. On Wednesday the mom left on a business trip and I was in charge of getting the kids to their various practices and getting dinner on the table until Friday night. It went beautifully.
Yesterday after the English lesson I decided to go into Paris and just kill time on my own for a while. I went to Les Saveurs and got a long sandwich, a piece of apple pie, and some Minute Maid, and I ate them in the jardin du Luxembourg, which I hadn't been to in a while. Then I went up by the Seine and sat in Shakespeare and Co reading The Giver until some douchebag got off the piano, and I played MOR and LM for an hour and a half. Then I went to the little park next door to finish reading and got hit on by a random dude who was kind of cute but had really short hair. To escape that situation I said I had to go and I went to Les Halles where I got some new tights in darker colors, then I came home for dinner. No one asked how my day had been or where I had gone. I don't mind that, just... don't tell me I only exist in terms of MOR and that I need to ask people questions about their lives unless you're planning to ask me questions about MY life every once in a while.
I do miss having friends who answer text messages... like, when I see something funny or something weird happens I want to be able to tell someone and get a reaction. One of the au pairs sometimes answers me. There's another one who never answers who I text sometimes, we hang out right after class. I also have three French friends from last year: Bénédicte from the Florum who gave me the extra backstage pass in Strasbourg, Laure who was in the bar with the Troupe trying to get me to dance in Caen, and Camille who always wants to speak English with me... but Laure and Camille live in another city, so I don't get to see much of them. Bénédicte and I got lunch last Friday, it was nice. She let me chatter incessantly and we went to a fancy sit-down restaurant with servers dressed in black and dim lighting and burgundy walls... it was a Pizza Hut. Oh France.
I really love being here. I like the solitary-ness, I like being able to wander out and do things on my own. I like pausing in the sidewalk and looking up at these old limestone buildings and thinking... my town is Paris. The town where I know how to get by, where I understand my life and where I never get lost no matter how aimlessly I wander... is Paris, France.
I think that after June finding a way to stay with my own little place would be perfect. I can do childcare, I can do English lessons... I just want to stay. I don't want to have to clean my room for a host family's sake or go out to prove that I have a life... I just want to be free to decide for myself.
I do worry a bit about the future since I'm living one year at a time, but usually in my life I know what to do next. I know when something strikes my fancy, and I'm waiting for that. When an opportunity shows up I can tell it's right and I go after it, but right now there isn't anything yet. I think the fact that I'm learning childcare and English lessons is meaningful, I think I'm starting off in a good place to keep getting enough work to get by. Sometimes I worry that I should be planning for the future, like my parents did and like these host parents did, and start training for a career, but I genuinely don't even have a clue where I'd want to start. I hope that when I'm old I don't regret not looking harder for a way to settle down, but honestly I'm still learning how to live and I'm not ready for that yet.