2014-02-04 05:26 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

So.  Saturday was the one year anniversary of my move to NYC.  I feel like I should make a big dramatic post about it, but I can't really think of much I haven't already said.

I'm happy.

I haven't recaptured the feeling of having a huge group of best friends from college, and I'm not obsessed with or enchanted by my city the way I was in Paris, but I'm fine.

My room is fantastic and I love being in it.  My roommates aren't around very much, and since they're already great friends with each other they leave me alone most of the time.  I have a desktop that runs XP so I can play the original Rollercoaster Tycoon and Zoo Tycoon games, and once I get my external hard drive repaired I'll be able to run The Sims 2 on it as well.  I have two cute little gerbils who think my hands exist to feed them sunflower seeds.

I know how to get tickets to a lot of Broadway shows for under $40.

I have an office job with a cubicle, just like I always wanted, and I really like my colleagues and my supervisors.  I like the work, and there's always something new to learn without feeling overwhelmed or lost.  I have pictures of the Troupe and my family all over my cubicle, and my boss likes me.  I end up getting saddled with extra responsibilities here and there, but I see that as a good thing.  I got an extra paycheck as a Christmas bonus, there are three paydays in January and August, and I'm getting nearly $3000 in tax refunds next month.  I'm not rich, but I'm managing to pay the bare minimum on my student loans and still save up a tiny bit.

I had pink hair for a few months and no one at work minded--they actually thought it was pretty cool.  I shaved my head just to say I'd done it.

I know how to buy two months' worth of groceries--mostly healthy food!--for under thirty dollars.

I don't see myself has having a future here, but I'm settled for now.  In a few years I'm probably going to get myself back to NC so I can be closer to my family, and I would certainly like to transition into working in translation.

It was a hard year.  It was a horrible year until I got my full-time job and moved to a better living situation.  In the past twelve months I've learned the actual difference between mouse and rat infestations and the best, most efficient ways to deal with either one; I've learned that the store brand is ALWAYS significantly cheaper (if not better), and I've learned to wait for bargains and jump on them when you see them.  I've learned that I should stand up for myself more often, and that swallowing your anger is going to make things worse than confronting it.  I've learned the best cleaner for bathroom floors, and how to smuggle toilet paper from the office to save money.  I filed my own taxes.

Most importantly, I'm figuring me out.  I'm an activist--a social justice warrior.  I'm demisexual and lithromantic and gayer than I ever realized.  I probably won't be able to get married, because I find flaws in everyone and am only able to overlook them half the time.  I like my own company, and anyone else feels like a crowd after a while.  I like talking to myself and dressing however I want around the house and calling my pets silly names in silly voices.  I like talking to my tv shows and laughing at jokes that no one else hears me crack.

Now that I'm not worried about having a roof over my head or enough money to buy food, I want to focus on getting my knitting business running and, in the long-term, getting that translation class under my belt so I can eventually slip over into a profession that actually makes use of my passion for French.

But yeah, happy one-year-in-NYC anniversary, self!
2013-12-27 03:23 pm

End of the Year Quiz 2013!

It's that time of year again!  If you're entertained by my personal life, and you SHOULD be, you can go read the entries from 2009, 2011, and 2012.

It was an alright year I guess )

2013-09-03 04:19 pm

I am still alive, and for once I'm glad to be so!

HELLO I HAVE GOOD NEWS

I just signed onto the lease for the apartment I subletted over the summer!  I have a small room in a fifth-floor walkup, but my new roommate is a spunky little blond ball of energy who wears workout clothes all day long and LOVES THE CLEAN THE SHIT OUT OF THINGS so though we are different souls I think it's all gonna be okay.  Idk if you're aware but hot pink has become an all-consuming obsession for me, and my room is a hot pink PARADISE.

I've decided to switch from beds to hammocks for economical and back-pain reasons, and also because it's cool and takes up less space and blah blah, and my hammock isn't coming in until tomorrow, so once I've installed it and put up my posters and stuff I'm gonna post pictures of the room.  And you will freak out because my room is AWESOME.

I'm gonna be in this room for at least a year!  More if the landlord doesn't jack up the rent again.  I'm SO happy.  I haven't had a room that was actually MINE since high school!  In the dorms and with my host families I was acutely aware of living on borrowed furniture and having to move out over the summer, but this room is MY actual room!

Unfortunately, rent is more than twice what I was paying sharing a room with the Connecticut Princess and the MRA, but they've been cleanly and beautifully out of my life for so long that my sanity is recovering from their influence and honestly... ugh I'm so happy.

I do think NYC is stupid, though.  If it wasn't for my awesome job I would have left for less expensive shores this past month.  I'll stick around until MORUSA happens (or I've hit the 2-3 year mark on this job for resume purposes) and then I gotta peace out to someplace a lot less ridiculous.  I want to live in a place with more than one room, air conditioning, a little balcony, and maybe even carpeting that's alllll mine.

But for now I'm good.

Pictures by the end of the week!  You will be ~*dazzled*~ by my badass room.

(Also I buried the hatchet with one Mr Dick Ponte, for those of you who remember that.  It took me almost a year and a half to stop being actively mad at him for dumbass behavior.  He was really excited about it, and not in a gross way.  I don't respect him anymore, but we're cool.  He helped me realize the full extent of my demisexuality, in any case!)
2013-06-12 07:46 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Welcome to my third morning in my new place!  I left the neighborhood labeled Harlem and literally walked about fifteen blocks to a neighborhood labeled "Morningside Heights" which is, from what I understand, still Harlem but with a lot more white struggling actors lurking about.  I'm in a fifth-floor walkup (moving in was a bitch and my calf muscles are still hella sore and stiff) but now that I'm up here I'm OD'ing on joy.  I have my own little room with a loft bed and I built a little cuddle nook beneath it by folding up my futon mat and draping it with my quilt and reinforcing it with my pillows.  The guy who actually lives here has really classy taste, like everything in the room is gray and black and tan, and then there's all my hot pink shit shoved into corners.

My new roommates are pretty much never home the same time as me (I haven't even met one yet!) but are really cool when we run into each other.  My room gets dark at night when I turn the lights off, and there's a huge window for my plants to get all the sunlight they need.  Overall the apartment itself is at least twice as big as the one I left, with a pretty big living room area with a giant fold-out couch, an actual table with chairs around it, and a TV with a thing called Roku that basically means I can watch Netflix and Hulu Plus on it.  And there's a whole separate kitchen.  You can imagine that I might be very happy to be living in a safer place with nicer people and SO MUCH SPACE and all the appropriate cleaning supplies.  There's even a little five octave keyboard shoved into a corner which I plan to mess around with ASAP.

Anyway, I'm here till mid-August, after which I hope to move to that four- or five-bedroom geek girl paradise in Brooklyn that my new friends from the meetup club and I have been conspiring to found. I plan to go somewhere where I can paint the walls and will be able to stay for a matter of years, because I'm so tired of moving.  I want to put my blue suitcases away long-term.
2013-06-03 08:01 am
Entry tags:

DONE WITH A CAPITAL FUCK THIS

Perhaps you have heard me complaining about Gordo, the roommate who doesn't clean up after himself or flush the toilet and thinks he's better than me and shows it by constantly lecturing me about things like how my new job (at a publishing company) means me giving up on my childhood dreams of writing a book.  Also he frequently accuses me of sexism because misandry jokes hurt his feelings.  Basically just imagine the biggest MRA neckbeard brony you've ever met and that's it, that's the roommate.

Well for some reason I seem to be the only person who calls him out on things like leaving hours-old shit in the toilet and never doing his weekly chore, so of course I'm sort of the local bitch of the apartment, so much fun.  Also, I get some form of anxiety about leaving stuff that belongs to me unattended around people I don't trust.  I bought a four-tier shower shelf for the roommates one day and to soothe myself about leaving my shampoo, conditioner, and soap unattended I put rubber bands around them so that if someone wanted to steal some shampoo mine would be difficult to negotiate.  I didn't expect it to actually DO anything except help me feel better.

Until the other day when I went to shower and saw the rubber bands were off the bottles and lying across the shelf, meaning someone had touched my shit.  There was only one roommate home, so I sent him perhaps the most polite message I've ever sent, and our correspondence went like this:

cut for your flists )

I am so fucking done that I have literally told Sophia that I'm moving out in a month. Luckily, I met the best person ever this weekend and she also wants to move soon, so we're going to be in a free no-Gordo zone by the end of the summer.

EDIT:

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SHIT

continued )




I'M A BULLY FOR TELLING HIM TO FLUSH THE TOILET AFTER HIMSELF????????????

lesmisloony: (squee ChanTho)
2013-05-22 08:16 am
Entry tags:

it's always darkest before the dawn

So I haven't been here in a while but HEY GUESS WHAT I got a full-time job with a salary that adds up to exactly twice what I was making at Bubba Gump (but it's full-time and not part-time) and also... benefits!  I now have great health insurance including eyes and teeth, FSAs, a 401K that I'll probably set up next year, discounts on hardware and software and tickets to movies and Broadway shows and all sorts of things, a potential scholarship fund if I want to take any classes that I can pretend are for the job (my translation certification!), end-of-the-year bonuses, ten paid vacation days a year AND ten paid sick days a year, and probably other things I've forgotten.  Plus I make twice rent in a WEEK.

Things this means: well, besides the obvious (I'll have a doctor soon in case another embolism decides to pop up), I'll have enough money to go back to France if something important happens AND I'll be paid the whole time.  I can finally afford things like furniture, new clothes, food, an accordion, to get the viruses off this laptop, a kindle, maybe even a desktop someday...!  (And obviously I could even get a NEW laptop but that'll be my last priority since I feel very loyal to Listolier, the laptop I've had for six years.)  AND I CAN GET THAT ROBOT DINOSAUR.  And when the lease is up here with the roommates who frequently make me want to scratch my skin off, I'll pretty easily be able to afford going to somewhere where I have my own room in a 3- or 2-bedroom!!!

Yes.  Oh and did I mention, the job is customer service at a publishing company?  A textbook publishing company, but still it's a foot in the right door!  And I have all the things I've always wanted: a huge cubicle with a fancy chair, a job that involves me doing a thing on a computer from nine to five, a watercooler, an hour for lunch, a cool boss, and an excuse to wear my pencil skirts.  Omg.  We even have a half-day Friday and Monday off because of Memorial Day or something, but it's all paid!!!

Okay off to work.  Next time I update I'll tell you about my stagedooring adventures.

(And though this is all amazing, I just started Monday and won't get paid till the 7th, and I only have $30 to live off of until then, so the end of my misery is in sight but not quite here yet.)
2013-05-01 02:10 am

(no subject)

How long has it been since I've used a happy icon?

So Bubba Gump has my back both emotionally and financially.  AMC cut everyone down to two shifts a week, so I'm only there for the free movies now.  Meanwhile my bills can totally be paid by the Bubba Gump base pay, and I can live (and buy Subway or order pizza or buy shoes!) off the modest tipshare the bussers get (last Thursday I got $67!).  They consistently give me five seven-hour shifts a week, too!  And everyone there is so silly and adorable (and they all know showtunes!) that I always leave cheery and jazzed.

But just when I was content to stop sending out resumes and crying over monster.com postings, I got an email asking for a phone interview with a little publishing company here in the city.  The interview went well and I have an in-person one scheduled for Thursday.  THEN several hours later anOTHER job I'd applied to called and set up an interview for tomorrow!  The publishing company wants me for customer service (which I'm totally comfortable with and yay a publishing company!) and the other company needs an entry-level sales person to try to convince rich people to sponsor kids in Africa or something.  Obviously I want the customer service job.  But both of these are full-time with benefits!  AND if I don't get either I just stay at Bubba Gump, where I'm totally happy (honestly if I had to leave now, just two weeks after finishing training, I'd be really disappointed).

On April 23rd, the day tumbling Whovians were meant to draw tally marks on their arms, I remembered partway through my final training shift that I hadn't done it.  I sighed and mumbled "darn, it's April 23rd, I was going to do that tally mark thing" and the girl training me went "OH YEAH!", grabbed a pen, and started drawing tally marks on her own arms!  Later I was subwaypooling home with a different girl and we were talking about pasta and she said "well my favorite are bowties because bowties are cool" and I was like DID YOU SAY THAT ON PURPOSE, haha.  Plus I made one friend just by joining in uninvited on her singing Defying Gravity.  We spend a lot of time dancing and singing to each other.  Bubba Gump is like that.

Anyway, for my birthday I went out to my uncle's house in the Jersey suburbs, and my mom and grandma and uncle and aunt (and cuzband ughakfdja;lkf he hugged me and i was like i will never let go of you) had a lovely day of acting silly and eating delicious food.  It was honestly a better birthday even that the free Eurodisney trip last year, though it doesn't quite beat out my magical day in Bordeaux with Nunozart and bisous from Flo.  Still, my mom and I got into some champagne and produced this, which still makes me laugh my ass off.

Then I brought the fabric and sticky tack my mom gave me for my birthday back to my apartment and turned the loft Sophia bequeathed me into a hot pink fortress of solitude filled with MOR posters and glow-in-the-dark stars.  I'm sitting in it right now with my own personal light on and Sophia has gone to sleep out on her bed and it really feels like I have my own space where I have control of my life without affecting or annoying someone else.  She has also been really cool about the hideous print on my curtains, which I ADORE because it's just very very me.  I am in my perfect element right now on this little cot surrounded by paraphernalia.  I have money in the bank, I caught up on my bills, I have money in my wallet, and I even have another round of tipshare waiting for me at Bubba Gump from Saturday night.

My aunt drove me into the city yesterday morning with an old dresser in the back (meaning I finally put my clothes into drawers and am not living out of a suitcase for the first time since EARLY AUGUST!) and she's so enchanted by NYC that she helped me see my building and my neighborhood and the whole city with new eyes.  I'm not as determined to get out of here as I was a week ago.  I'm back on track for wanting to have a studio here someday and have a real person job, though I do still want to retire to the Appalachain mountains someday, or just move there once I've had enough of city.  I feel so much better though.  I have opportunities, personal space, spending money, and my perkiness back.
2013-04-27 01:00 pm
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(no subject)

Ooookay so probably I should update this because I know that last post was pretty pitiful.

Weirdly enough, the job at Bubba Gump is my salvation right now.  It's hard work and long hours with not much in the way of breaks, but the other people there are so great that I always come home in a fantastic mood.  I'm making a teeny bit more than minimum wage anyway, but my job consists of four different positions, and the other day I was scheduled as a "tablesetter" and learned that that meant I could pick up my share of the tips the next day... I now have $66 in cash in an envelope... from one shift!  Plus I should be getting my check from the stupid cinema job today maybe.  I'm still behind on two of my student loan payments, but now it looks like I'll be able to swing it, and by next month I should be doing just slightly better than breaking even.

I'm ridiculously busy and my feet hurt all the time but I'm trying to keep it together as best I can.  Things are looking up, though.  And I do want to try to stick it out here at least through November, maybe the end of next January if I can swing it just so it's a full year.  Obviously I'm hoping that damn American version of MOR gets its ass over here before I have to pack up and go.
2013-04-14 11:42 pm
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(no subject)

For anyone who hasn't been near my tumblr, basically I'm having a horrible time.

After nearly two months of unemployment I finally caved and went for a part-time job at a cinema here in Harlem.  I went in all excited and on day one realized that my new coworkers and managers were brash and rude and disrespectful, almost as bad as the customers.  Three weeks of constant, back-breaking and blister-inducing and demeaning work and I finally got my first paycheck... for $278.  My rent is $350 alone and that's only because there are four people crammed in this shitty little apartment.  There's also student loans, a metrocard, and my phone to think about, for starters.

So I went out and got a second job at my favorite restaurant in Times Square.  I've only done two shifts there, but juggling both schedules is going to be ridiculous.  I don't think I can leave the crappy cinema paycheck behind to live off the restaurant.

All this is leaving no time or money for any of the fun stuff.  I just keep thinking, if I was anywhere else this money would be enough.  If I were anywhere else I wouldn't be sending out five resumes a day with no response.  I can't figure out what I'm doing here.  So basically... I just cry a lot.  This city isn't what I expected.  This isn't Paris.  I can't see a future here.

For the first time in my life, I just want a little house in the woods.  In the mountains.  With a punch buggy and a pet pig and a job that pays me enough to fly overseas or up to NYC every once in a while.
2013-03-08 01:32 pm
Entry tags:

Gather round kids, it's story time with Loony!

Last night I decided to rewatch the entire POTC trilogy before I went to bed.  Around 3:30am I saw Will and Elizabeth reunited after ten years, heaved a conflicted sigh, and set off toward the bathroom to refill my water bottle and brush my teeth.

That was when they attacked.

Ratsplosion 2013 )

Epilogue
I woke up this morning with a rat in my hair.  We've had a maintenance man come to patch the holes but he was unable to find any and announced that the rats must have come in through the open windows, and that they don't live here.  He then opened the cabinet under the sink to be met with a small rat, who he believes is the shuffly fifth roommate who has been singing us to sleep for the past few weeks, and is (hopefully) the one in my hair.  An hour later an exterminator arrived to scatter rat poison and pass me a handful of cheap sticky traps.  We think that only the little guy is left, and our whole apartment is now booby-trapped in an effort to get rid of him.
2013-02-15 02:43 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Not sure what I'm feeling...

Thanks to the people who helped point out what should have been obvious to me re: the craigslist scams.  I blithely didn't see a way that those approaches would backfire, though obviously the whole thing seemed VERY strange.  I'm glad people helped me catch it before it cost me or got me into trouble.

I just really want a job.

Like... I want to have money again.  I want to be able to grab a Subway sandwich if I want to, or to try the famous New York pizza everyone talks about.  Even when I was an au pair I could usually justify buying a pair of shoes here and there, but with no income I totally panic and stop spending anything at all.  My roommates won't stop shaming me for sticking around the apartment.  I don't think they realize that $2.50 for a one-way trip in the métro is really unreasonable and adds up.

I'm considering getting the kind of job I was hoping to avoid, like retail or waitressing, and then trying for an unpaid internship just for the sake of getting experience somewhere, but I don't know if that kind of thing could really work.  I think I got really depressed today because all my responses from craigslist (except one that didn't go anywhere after a week of "maybes") turned out to be scams.

I'd accidentally started thinking about what I could do with all the money they promised I'd make, you know?  For starters, I want a mattress.  I want to pay off my student loans.  I want a bed frame.  I want warm winter-appropriate shoes.  I want to have meals rather than make one big vat of brown rice and vegetables and eat off of that for two weeks.  I want that giant portrait of the Seine that I saw in Ikea the other week.

I miss Paris every day, and it's making me gloomy.  I really thought being in a big city would help, but I picked a terrible time to come out here.  It's too cold to really explore and I'm too poor to spend much money on the subway, so I'm stuck in a really crummy neighborhood remembering how sweet and gorgeous Paris was.  Just aesthetically I miss Paris, and I miss the métro.

I'm kind of bummed out, I guess.  I knew not to put 100% of my faith in that job thing the way I knew not to develop too much attachment to Maktav: when I got let down as I suspected I eventually would, it hurt a lot more than it was supposed to.
2013-01-31 07:49 am
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(no subject)

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I figured this was a good time to use this icon.

Taking the Amtrak to my uncle's house in Jersey, then tomorrow or maybe Saturday he'll escourt me to East Harlem, where my new apartment awaits! I paid three months' rent, wifi, and keys, and I still have $876 in one account and $100 in my new Bank of America account, plus an interview with a temp agency on Monday and the possibility to transfer to the East Harlem Target! All in all, they all saaaaid it couldn't be done! But it can be DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE
lesmisloony: (squee ChanTho)
2013-01-22 05:49 pm

(no subject)

Things are finally coming up roses again!

1. I got that roomshare secured in NYC where I'll only be paying $350 a month for a place in East Harlem. The roommate seems cool and legit, so fingers crossed I don't start/stumble into any drama.

2. When I went to put in my notice at Target, they offered to keep me on the payroll an extra week and then transfer me to the East Harlem Target which, according to yelp, is new, largely undiscovered, quiet, and clean.

3. My parents agreed to buy my train ticket since they have the AAA discount, and my uncle agreed to meet me at a stop in NJ, let me come stay the night at the family home up there, then accompany me into the city the next morning.

4. Randomly sent my résumé to a temp agency last night, and this morning they called me back and were ready to set up an interview like five minutes from now, but agreed to push it to February 4th, the first weekday after I stumble into NYC.

So :D
(The first time I made that smiley I did a D: because I've been using that one so much more lately.)
2013-01-03 11:54 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

On the heels of all my complaining I was doing last night comes a chipper update!

Today I went to see the LM movie (for free because it was noon and we couldn't find anyone in the cinema to sell us tickets???) then went out to eat with the only friends who have bothered to contact me since I got home (and we've hung out TWICE now btw), then we went back to the cinema and saw The Hobbit in 3D! What a good day wow.

Then I get home and met... my new roommate!

We're doing a four people to a two bedroom apartment deal, so she's literally my roommate and not my flatmate or what-have-you, but she's adorable and a film major and partway through our conversation went on a small rant about Disney secretly promoting homophobia and when she asked if I had any pets I said no but I really want a hedgehog and she flailed her arms around in the air and offered to be a party to my dream of having an underground hedgehog breeding ground in NYC. Plus I don't need to bring ANY furniture and don't need to sign a lease! I can stay till about November 2013 or less, whatever works, and if I'm enjoying myself and the rent doesn't go up she's planning to sign the lease again and if we can afford it we might go down to two people with separate rooms.

It's East Harlem, by the way, and the other two flatmates will be boys, one of which is apparently the sweetest guy ever and the other of which is TBA.

Anyway, it's set, I can put in my notice at Target, I can buy my train ticket, because on February 1st I will finally be moving to NYC!

Oh and did I mention--the rent is $350 a month???

Now I'm trying to figure out temp agencies because my savings will run out pretty fast after I pay my deposit.

Oh, and from now on this is what the "my roommate" tag will be about, so yay!

New Year's Resolution: quit looking back and missing all those people who don't actually miss me.


ETA: THERE IS ALSO A NEW EPISODE OF ELEMENTARY AJFKALDSJFKLSA;FKA;L I LOVE TODAY
2012-12-31 02:20 am

End of the Year Quiz!

This is gonna have to be my new tradition. I also did 2009 and 2011.

Seems to me now that the dreams we had before are all dead, nothing more than confetti on the floor )

Ew I ended it on a sour note. Well this has been kind of a sour year. I mean for other people I guess it would be a fine year (minus nearly dying and finding out your friends don't care about you) but to fill out this quiz I was deleting my answers from LAST year when I had become the world's best groupie and recently been deflowered by my then-celebrity crush and followed that up with three first dates in one weekend, so like... deleting that and throwing in how stupid this year as been made me crankier and crankier.

Let's hope next year I'll be able to delete these answers and fill in something a lot perkier.
2012-12-22 03:21 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

I kind of hit a breaking point in this stupid apartment/roommate search last night, and this morning it was only underscored by one of my roommate-maybe options officially backing out. I'm just so worn down by all this bullshit.

So I'm thinking... I know some of my lj friends are in or have been in or around the DC area... what's that like? I might broaden my search. I mean, yes, it was always a dream to live in NYC, but right now I just want public transportation and to be able to afford rent. Anyway, DC is halfway to NYC on the Amtrak line, so if I have to get to New York for anything--say, MOR--I probably could. You know, unless I had a job that didn't cut me any slack. But still. It's on my radar now. I've heard that public transportation is great there and all.

Anyway, I have a long list of temp agencies I guess I might apply to and one of them is Professionals for Nonprofits, which pleases my humanitarian side. They have headquarters both in NYC and DC apparently.

The only thing is I have a pretty solid idea of what's cool about NYC, but the all I know about living in DC is there's good public transportation and, you know, politics stuff.

Anyway, I am pretty damn exhausted by this whole search. There's still one girl on my roommate radar but she's kind of lax about answering emails and I'm getting a strong impression that she's either not serious enough or too freaked out by the idea of moving out of her parents' place to actually get anything done.

I mean, I'd prefer New York because I've wanted to live there since I was a kid, but at this point I'm getting really complacent about living with my parents and I need something to kick my ass out the door... but it won't be easy to leave a situation where I essentially don't have to pay for anything at all. So I'm uncomfortable going anywhere without knowing I'll be able to find a source of income once I get there... but I also am not sure if I'm supposed to get there and then find work or find work and then get there. HOW DO I ADULT
2012-12-17 01:40 am

(no subject)

I keep almost posting to lj but not having that much to say. I have an outline for my third book finally. I'm still working 39 hours a week but it seems that will drop off next week because after Christmas it won't be as busy... I'm in talks with ANOTHER person to be my roommate but for chrissake i cant fucking trust ANYONE and i'm slowly learning to hate all of humanity and never have any friends again

oops that was bitterer than i usually am, just dont fucking get me started on failed roommates

ummm I'm weirdly addicted to Finding Bigfoot, like it's the only show I sit down at the tv to watch every week (Sunday nights at 10) because other shows I catch up with later online... I miss Conan and Jon Stewart REALLY BADLY because i tend to work past midnight, but hopefully once the store starts closing at 10 again they'll come back into my life...

guns shouldnt be legal for private citizens to own

i dyed my hair again

this icon is the first gif i ever made in my whole life and i cherish it

hope the world doesnt end before christmas

OH ALSO I finally opened a damn etsy shop! It's here and everyone should buy these dolls because they take three or more days to make and I'm selling them for stupidly low prices but I'm just worried people won't be willing to pay for them. Ugh. How come people will buy a $200 Tony Stark action figure but when I knit a doll of him WITH GLOW IN THE DARK ARC REACTORS and offer it for $26 no one gives a shit? I'm not internet-famous enough I guess.
2012-12-05 12:12 pm

it's mikele's birthday and i have an 8 hour shift at target

Welllllllllp.

First, my potential roommate is going through financial turmoil and isn't sure she's going to be able to commit to an apartment, but she needs to be in one by the end of January if she does decide to stay in the city. Giant sigh. She did the equivalent of "I'm fine, go on without me, save yourself!!" and I was all "I'm not LEAVING you!" or something, so I volunteered to find a third person since three bedroom apartments split three ways tend to come out somewhat cheaper than a studio or one bedroom split two ways, plus everyone gets their own room, and that third person and I would be in charge of nailing down apartment details while sort of unofficially counting her in, and if things sort themselves out and she decides she can't afford to stay in the city, this other person and I will just throw someone else in her place. The problem is I spent thirty minutes hunting through ads and had about eight profiles of people open to message, but then I had to go to work and when I got back my computer was acting weird and I got so distracted I ended up somehow losing my session on Opera aaaand now I'm at square one AGAIN. Sometimes I think I should just pull a blanket over myself and give up and live on square one.

Second, my health: I went to the official hospital doctor a while back and had a massive amount of blood taken to do a bunch of tests, and yesterday I went back to see what the deal was about that pulmonary embolism of mine. Did I mention that the French hospital reports said that the clot was so big it was blocking my entire aorta and even extending into some of the smaller veins on either side? Sweet French Jesus. That shit ain't kidding around. Anyway, the good news is almost every test came back negative. The bad news is that one showed that I have an unusually high amount of this one clotting agent fiber thing in my blood, meaning there's so much of that dude naturally that my blood is too thick and prone to clotting, so... he's saying I'll probably be on these blood thinners indefinitely. Meaning I have to restrict my broccoli and spinach intake indefinitely, which is awful. Also, that's one more thing for me to keep spending money on. Oh, I just realized that I'll also have to go get my finger pricked to have my INR tested once a month as long as I'm on this medication... great.

Third, a bunch of people quit Target after Black Friday, so I'm now working around 39 hours a week! It's confusing for me to deal with since I just spent months with absolutely NOTHING to do, and I feel like I've lost all my free time. I almost always work closing shift, so I haven't seen Jon Stewart or Conan in ages, which is sad. But I do need money, so even on the rare days when I'm not scheduled they sometimes call me in. However there are prerecorded ads that play in the electronics section, so whenever I'm in infant's or men's I hear this incessant, awful loop of songs that are slowly grating away my sanity. They've literally become the soundtrack to my dreams. The worst is that they're almost all wildly popular right now, so I get in the car after an eight hour shift and am all "ahhh" and crank it up only to have fuckin Ke$ha moaning at me all over again. Last night my shift ended at 8 so I got to watch Conan and GUESS WHO the musical guest was. Like, bitch, do you WANT to die young? Because if I don't get a break from this song of yours I will see to it that YOU DO. I don't understand how the people who actually work in electronics are holding it together.

Alright, off to work, but that's my life. Happy Mikele's birthday!