lesmisloony: (omg enjy)

Well hi.  I honestly have been reminding myself to do this questionnaire for a while but I kind of forgot it was meant for the "end of the year" rather than the beginning of a new year so, whoops.  Maybe I'll do the 2017 one right, ya know, if America still exists and the Russians haven't used their amazing lj intel to delete the internet or whatever people are whining about on tumblr.

My previous end of year quizzes are also hosted on Russian servers lj here: 2009, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015. Although frankly my lj is in such a state that I'm pretty sure the last few of those are like, the most recent posts on this journal.

1. What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?
I became an official member of the UU, I worked a part-time job while also having a full-time job (and in that vein, successfully waited tables!), lived a full adult year of my life in NC, purchased furniture and clothes exclusively at Goodwill, gave away my own pets, got a speeding ticket, hired a lawyer, went to the Renaissance Festival

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
last year I resolved to work more OT, get back on HabitRPG (now Habitica) and exercise, and I kept all of those resolutions (including an exercise routine 3 times a week) up until June, when I started the part-time job and everything in my non-work life (what little there was of it) went to shit. So for this year, I'm starting up exercise and Habitica again and, new resolution, never going more than nine miles over the speed limit EVER.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Actually yes! Stacyfacy had this really smushed baby a month ago and I'm happy she's happy but I just don't see the appeal?

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Was it this year that Immy died?  Yeah, my first ever gerbil, Imriel formerly known as Skeletail, poor baby.  He got a stomach tumor and started having seizures and it was one of the worst nights of my life.  It was late at night and only emergency vets were open and they were quoting over a hundred dollars to euthanize the poor baby, so I found a tutorial online how to use plastic bags and a tube (I used part of the handle of my swiffer) and vinegar and baking soda to create a carbon dioxide chamber and peacefully put your small pet to sleep?  Man it was awful, but he was at peace after that.  Oh, and also Democracy in my state AND my country, those are dead.  And lots of celebrities.

5. What countries did you visit?
Not only did I not leave the country, I barely left the STATE in 2016. I live on the SC border so I pop down there to get cheap gas whenever I'm tight on funds, and my family took a SC camping trip in June or July, but other than that I bounced between Charlotte and my hometown.  Wait no.... no, for my birthday week I did take a trip to NYC, so I left the area once.  I took a train up with my mom and it was really fun.

6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
A HOUSE and to pay off my car

7. What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Tuesday, November 8th and you know why.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Probably holding down the two jobs for so long.  It was a weird year, like I'm even having trouble remembering what happened this year and what was other years...

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to get a house when my lease came up in November I guess, also the fuckin election results which I am taking very personally. I also couldn't afford to go back to NYC in October to see Hamilton even though Kelley (an angel) was offering me a free ticket so that freakin sucked. But I still had the week off so I went to the beach with my family instead and that was fun.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Ohhh yeah, so in 2015 I mentioned the pinched nerve?  Well that thing hit the fan in the first half of the year!  My whole right side was in screaming pain all the time, and just sitting in a car hurt so bad I would just be howling as I drove down the road.  God.  But my amazing chiropracter sorted me out after many, many $30 copays that eventually got me into credit card debt (along with the NYC trip in April) and forced me to take the Ruby Tuesday job

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Gotta be either my car (an adorable 2013 Yaris that I call the YARDIS) or this sectional couch I'm lying on right now that was only $120 at Goodwill and is the best couch ever.  The WORST thing I bought was a gerbil named Queequeg to replace Immy who turned out to be a DEMON so I took him back after 15 days and exchanged him for a while gerb named Pearl who is very nice but also won't be Ikki's friend, so now Ikki and Pearlie are in two different cages and I just shove toys at them all the time to try to make them forget that they might be lonely

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
my mom listened to a lot of complaining this year and by the end of the year I'm left feeling like she's my only close friend again, cause though I still love Kelley, she was lucky enough to find an amazing girlfriend and move on with her life, and my other two really close friends have been either busy or sorta nonresponsive lately.  Also, state senator Jeff Jackson and our new governor Roy Cooper.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
the voting public?  Putin?  Idk it's been a weird year

14. Where did most of your money go?
Other than paying off that credit card, I managed to buy a fancy desktop computer (my "new" laptop is literally falling to pieces, like I can't even close it anymore because a hinge popped out of joint or something), and I guess my biggest purchase was a plane ticket to Paris for this coming March.  The groupie in me isn't dead yet, and I figured I needed to see Paris again and also Flo just happens to be doing a concert that week so... ya.  But my savings are okay actually!  Not "ready to buy a house" okay but they are "my tax return might go entirely to my car payment" okay.  And I haven't touched the credit card since Ruby Tuesday

15. What were you really, really, really excited about?
Um. Well.  I was really excited about my job at the top of the year but that company broke my spirit halfway through the summer, so here at the end of the year I managed to transfer to the new company splitting out of MetLife, Brighthouse, and we'll see how that goes.  I start Tuesday.  I was really excited about the beach trip with the family and it was a lot of fun!  I was really excited to adopt guinea pigs but that didn't turn out well.  I was excited about my church friends but they ended up being flawed human beings so I became really internally critical of them.  I feel like everything I WAS excited about went to shit but that might just be residual election PTSD.

16. What song will always remind you of 2016?
the entire Moana soundtrack I guess?  That was my big revelation this year.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) Happier or sadder? I hate to say I'm not happier, because I still have all the things I ever wanted, but I think a lot of stuff started to sour this year, like the job and my financial situation and whatnot.  It wasn't a particularly bad year on a personal level, but the politics really hurt me

b) Bigger or smaller? I don't think I gained that much weight throughout the course of 2016, but I still feel like I should be the weight I was in NYC (or worse, the weight I was in Paris), so I had a really bad year for body positivity

c) Richer or poorer? Richer apparently, my savings were up to $3K for a minute there before I bought that plane ticket, and I did manage to get a raise at MetLife in November (which came right about the time I quit RT) so I'm in a better place, I just wish I could get rid of at LEAST the car payment so I can focus in on my student loans.  But the one in my name finally dropped below $30K this year!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd gotten more involved in the community and more involved in the election.  I should have donated and knocked on doors and stuff.  I had no idea how bad it was, I just trusted

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I mean, I wish I could have worked less and been to church more, but I needed the money and I guess I'm a little proud of how I was able to keep those two jobs for so long.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Got to spend the entire weekend with my family.  There's a new pastor at the old Lutheran church where we grew up and the Christmas Eve service was just wonderful!  Plus I caught my first Santa hat Pikachu there lol

21. How many one-night stands?
Zero one-night stands.  I did have sex one time but my body insecurity was so bad I had an upset stomach all day afterward so I insisted on sleeping on the couch after that until he left and then I just felt really guilty about it

22. Did you fall in love in 2016?
A huge crush I've had for years has been slowly dying throughout the course of this year and I wish it would hurry up and go because she is only stringing me along to make herself feel good

23. What was your favourite TV programme?
STAR TREK. This was the year I spent watching every Star Trek ever and it is my life now.  Bones is my father, Kira Nerys is my wife, Worf is my husband, Alexander and Trip Tucker are my sons shh just go with it

24. How will you see in the New Year?
I spent the New Year crocheting and watching Star Trek in a onesie and I LOVED IT

25. Do you hate / dislike anyone now that you didn't hate / dislike this time last year?
All the friends I referenced in my previous year-end post turned out to be kind of annoying

26. What was the best book you read?
Did I read a book this year?  Um, well, I got a book at a used bookstore near me called "You Don't Have to be Wrong for Me to be Right" and I'm a little ways into that.  I think le Rouge et le noir ruined reading for me again.  I'll try to get a library card this year.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
MOANA.  I really like what I've heard from the Rouge et le noir musical though and Flo's new album is really good! I'm proud of him.

28. What did you want and get?
a part-time job, a new full-time job, a raise/promotion, this couch

29. What did you want and not get?
a new mattress... my mattress is such a pos, it's so ruined.  I finally just put it under my bed and I have a plywood board and a few mattress toppers over my box spring right now.  A house or townhome.  Madame President.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Moana again, easy one

31. What did you do on your birthday?
Went to NYC and saw Les Mis (with surprise JOJ! his Who am I was SO GOOD!?) and Fun Home and then Les Mis again, saw Rob Marnell at the Carole King musical (a dude whose acting I stalked when he was in college and I was in high school), saw all my work buddies at Springer, had lunch with Katie K at Bubba Gump... good times

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I think you may have guessed but... if the popular vote had actually swayed the outcome of the presidential election...?  If HB2 had been repealed?

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Insecurity chic: lots of big shapeless shirts with cute patterns over leggings.

34. What kept you sane?
my mom, the UU, Star Trek lol

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Honestly Michael Dorn?? I mean.  I don't know, I mind my own business.  I've been watching a lot of panel shows lately and Richard Ayoade still has my heart obviously but also Diane Dassigny is a classic

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the fucking election stop asking me about it please it makes me sad

37. Who did you miss?
my youthful innocence and blind trust in the American people?  Vincent visited me in December which was a delight.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I don't know if I technically met them in 2016 but Felix started coming to church more often and the more I talk to them the more I enjoy them.  We've gained some awesome new moraholics this year too.  Oh and speaking of which I met Ella in person!  What a sweetheart.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.
change happens at the local level

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"Quand la peur s'immisce dans nos illusions, on abandonne, abandonne, le ciel pardonne" but also "l'avenir nous appartient"
And while we're talking French musical finales, this entire concept: C'est bientôt la fin Revolution Interpretation

41. What was your favourite moment of the year?
I had a really nice time stagedooring LM with Kelley in April and then seeing Daveed Diggs.  But also, there was an amazing post-election dance party at the UU and it was really really great.  The minster showed up and slow-danced with somebody's husband.  We also did a pirate-themed murder mystery dinner fundraiser at the church and I was the French pirate, so I wore the old stays and hoops and wig I made in like 2008 and spoke with a ridiculous French accent all night and was honestly a huge hit

42. What was your least favourite moment of the year?
watching those states turn red on that google map thing and that heavy, sinking feeling as I slowly started to realize what might happen.  Then crying uncontrollably for the rest of the week

43. Where were you when 2016 began?
Standing in a circle with the UU young adult group holding out our phones and counting down till our alarms all went off in unison

44. Who were you with?
I think it was ten people?  None of whom I see on a regular basis anymore and most of whom I now find annoying

45. Where will you be when 2016 ends?
yeah sorry I forgot to do this in advance of NYE but my plan was ON THE COUCH all along and I fulfilled that

46. Who will you be with when 2016 ends?
from 2014 and 2013: "the gerbs".

47. What was your favourite month of 2016?
April? I thought it would be a good thing to learn GVUL at MetLife and was excited about the opportunity, I wasn't worried about my credit card, most of my church friends were still rad, and I had a lovely time in NYC

48. Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2016?
Not really, I probably took care of maybe ten bottles of wine all year, maybe less.

49. Did you do a lot of drugs in 2016?
I will be very surprised if the answer to this question is ever a "yes"

50. How many people did you sleep with in 2016?
so I did a sex at one point for what is apparently the first time since 2012 and it gave me anxiety, so yo ho yo ho the ace life for me

51. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
probably plenty of small things.  I cried in front of my supervisor at one point in the summer because we were so poorly trained in GVUL and the calls were very difficult and we didnt know what the FUCK we were doing and it was peoples LIFE INSURANCE it wasnt a fuckin joke for gods sake

52. What was the worst lie someone told you in 2016?
"we'll get your class a trainer who is really familiar with the product"

53. Did you treat somebody badly in 2016?
I was probably a dick to all the people I've referred to as "annoying" throughout the course of this post

54. Did somebody treat you badly in 2016?
I mean not on a personal level really, there's the crush situation but that's been going on for years, she was just a lot more needy this year and really ate into my like... equilibrium. And when she got better, she quit talking to me. Because of course she did.

56. How much money did you spend in 2016?
I feel like I spent most of the RT money on fun things like fancy groceries and the computer and stuff, I mean obviously after I paid off the credit card.  I think the plane ticket was my biggest purchase of the year.

57. If you could go back in time to any moment of 2016 and change what?
Could I change the result of the election?

58. What are your plans for 2017?
house. It's the only thing I care about.  And for the trip to Paris in March to be really good.  Idk if I'll be lucky enough to pay off my car this year but that would be nice.  Oh, and a raise in April I hope.

lesmisloony: (squee ChanTho)
Guess what time it is??

I guess I'm a couple days late on this one which is a surprise, but oh well, this is the first thing I'm doing in 2016!

If you're even aware that my lj still exists, you can check up all the other ones I've done for 2009, 2011, 2012, 2013, and 2014.  I guess I missed 2010 cause that was the year I was trapped in Iceland and then I just spent Christmas lying on the floor crying because I wasn't freezing my ass off at the PDS stagedoor instead of surrounded by family and friends in my childhood home.

Read more... )
lesmisloony: (squee ChanTho)
I'm moving back to NC in 44 days to start an exciting new life in Charlotte!
My default user icon is gone.  I'm hoping I'll be able to afford to go back to France in October to see the King Arthur musical and Mistinguett and anything else that'll be playing over there at the time except Cats.
That's all!
lesmisloony: (omg enjy)
Okay, I know I haven't posted on lj in nearly a year but I can't not do this quiz.  Apparently my paid subscription expired or something because 90% of my icons disappeared... and they rearranged everything at some point cause this posting page thingy looks weird.  Also everything is in French for some reason???  Anyway.

I've been doing this pretty regularly now, so you can watch me evolve: 2009, 2011, 2012, 2013.

Read more... )
So.  Saturday was the one year anniversary of my move to NYC.  I feel like I should make a big dramatic post about it, but I can't really think of much I haven't already said.

I'm happy.

I haven't recaptured the feeling of having a huge group of best friends from college, and I'm not obsessed with or enchanted by my city the way I was in Paris, but I'm fine.

My room is fantastic and I love being in it.  My roommates aren't around very much, and since they're already great friends with each other they leave me alone most of the time.  I have a desktop that runs XP so I can play the original Rollercoaster Tycoon and Zoo Tycoon games, and once I get my external hard drive repaired I'll be able to run The Sims 2 on it as well.  I have two cute little gerbils who think my hands exist to feed them sunflower seeds.

I know how to get tickets to a lot of Broadway shows for under $40.

I have an office job with a cubicle, just like I always wanted, and I really like my colleagues and my supervisors.  I like the work, and there's always something new to learn without feeling overwhelmed or lost.  I have pictures of the Troupe and my family all over my cubicle, and my boss likes me.  I end up getting saddled with extra responsibilities here and there, but I see that as a good thing.  I got an extra paycheck as a Christmas bonus, there are three paydays in January and August, and I'm getting nearly $3000 in tax refunds next month.  I'm not rich, but I'm managing to pay the bare minimum on my student loans and still save up a tiny bit.

I had pink hair for a few months and no one at work minded--they actually thought it was pretty cool.  I shaved my head just to say I'd done it.

I know how to buy two months' worth of groceries--mostly healthy food!--for under thirty dollars.

I don't see myself has having a future here, but I'm settled for now.  In a few years I'm probably going to get myself back to NC so I can be closer to my family, and I would certainly like to transition into working in translation.

It was a hard year.  It was a horrible year until I got my full-time job and moved to a better living situation.  In the past twelve months I've learned the actual difference between mouse and rat infestations and the best, most efficient ways to deal with either one; I've learned that the store brand is ALWAYS significantly cheaper (if not better), and I've learned to wait for bargains and jump on them when you see them.  I've learned that I should stand up for myself more often, and that swallowing your anger is going to make things worse than confronting it.  I've learned the best cleaner for bathroom floors, and how to smuggle toilet paper from the office to save money.  I filed my own taxes.

Most importantly, I'm figuring me out.  I'm an activist--a social justice warrior.  I'm demisexual and lithromantic and gayer than I ever realized.  I probably won't be able to get married, because I find flaws in everyone and am only able to overlook them half the time.  I like my own company, and anyone else feels like a crowd after a while.  I like talking to myself and dressing however I want around the house and calling my pets silly names in silly voices.  I like talking to my tv shows and laughing at jokes that no one else hears me crack.

Now that I'm not worried about having a roof over my head or enough money to buy food, I want to focus on getting my knitting business running and, in the long-term, getting that translation class under my belt so I can eventually slip over into a profession that actually makes use of my passion for French.

But yeah, happy one-year-in-NYC anniversary, self!

It's that time of year again!  If you're entertained by my personal life, and you SHOULD be, you can go read the entries from 2009, 2011, and 2012.

It was an alright year I guess )

Hey guys,

For anyone who doesn't keep up with French gossip, there was an explosion at the Palais des Sports in Paris last night (Friday) only two and a half hours before what would have been the second performance of the new, revamped version of 1789: les amants de la Bastille.  Apparently someone was using a buzzsaw on some piece of set and a spark set off all the gunpowder they keep for the rifles/cannons they use during the show.  The resulting explosion caused a ceiling to collapse into a basement, shut down a big chunk of the Parisian tram system, and sent fifteen stagehands to the hospital.  Last I heard, five were in critical condition.  The actors and dancers who arrived early for rehearsal experienced some hearing damage and were physically knocked over by the force of the explosion, but none were kept at the hospital as they weren't as close to the blast as the stagehands.

Here's where you come in.  Most of the stagehands working on 1789 were the same stagehands who worked on MOR, so I know their faces but never spoke to them, and I feel like I've been punched in the gut.  Making matters worse are the posts I'm seeing from certain French fans expressing relief that it was "just the stagehands" who were hurt.  Five of them are in critical condition.

As such, tumblr user aquoitudanses had the idea to pull together a project for these injured members of the team, and I volunteered to take charge.  Basically, if you have a spare moment, please write a little note of support for the injured stagehands and their families (you can write it in any language you want, but please provide an English transcription if it's not already in English or French so I can do subtitles).  You can scan the note, turn it into a graphic, put it on a poster and take a picture of yourself holding it, or read it aloud in a short video.  Even if you just write #staystrong1789, the hashtag Sébastien Agius used for a very moving graphic he posted earlier in the evening, every little bit helps.  However, I'd really like it if you could make note of your country/state so the team knows that their work has touched people all over the world, and that essentially the whole world is rooting for them.

Please send images and videos to me at lesmisloony at yahoo.com by Sunday night (EST-ish) so I can pull a video together and start trying to get them to see it.


Sep. 3rd, 2013 04:23 pm

Life-long dream realized.


I just signed onto the lease for the apartment I subletted over the summer!  I have a small room in a fifth-floor walkup, but my new roommate is a spunky little blond ball of energy who wears workout clothes all day long and LOVES THE CLEAN THE SHIT OUT OF THINGS so though we are different souls I think it's all gonna be okay.  Idk if you're aware but hot pink has become an all-consuming obsession for me, and my room is a hot pink PARADISE.

I've decided to switch from beds to hammocks for economical and back-pain reasons, and also because it's cool and takes up less space and blah blah, and my hammock isn't coming in until tomorrow, so once I've installed it and put up my posters and stuff I'm gonna post pictures of the room.  And you will freak out because my room is AWESOME.

I'm gonna be in this room for at least a year!  More if the landlord doesn't jack up the rent again.  I'm SO happy.  I haven't had a room that was actually MINE since high school!  In the dorms and with my host families I was acutely aware of living on borrowed furniture and having to move out over the summer, but this room is MY actual room!

Unfortunately, rent is more than twice what I was paying sharing a room with the Connecticut Princess and the MRA, but they've been cleanly and beautifully out of my life for so long that my sanity is recovering from their influence and honestly... ugh I'm so happy.

I do think NYC is stupid, though.  If it wasn't for my awesome job I would have left for less expensive shores this past month.  I'll stick around until MORUSA happens (or I've hit the 2-3 year mark on this job for resume purposes) and then I gotta peace out to someplace a lot less ridiculous.  I want to live in a place with more than one room, air conditioning, a little balcony, and maybe even carpeting that's alllll mine.

But for now I'm good.

Pictures by the end of the week!  You will be ~*dazzled*~ by my badass room.

(Also I buried the hatchet with one Mr Dick Ponte, for those of you who remember that.  It took me almost a year and a half to stop being actively mad at him for dumbass behavior.  He was really excited about it, and not in a gross way.  I don't respect him anymore, but we're cool.  He helped me realize the full extent of my demisexuality, in any case!)
how long am i supposed to go from one short term goal to the next? is that just going to be what the rest of my life is?

i just really don't see the point of anything right now
So here's my plan for my life:

Work about three years at my publishing company customer service job, then back on the experience and switch to a bigger name company where I can work my way up some kind of corporate ladder and make contacts who'll get my books published.

Pay off my student loans by the time I'm 30.

Love alone in my own place with a hedgehog and a robot dinosaur.

Move to a cabin in the mountains somewhere and live happily ever after with a pretty pig named Wilbur and a big butterfly garden.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

Hello there.  So about a week ago I cut off all my hair.

Went from:


And the really weird thing about it is, I just don't care.  Like, I'm not all WAHHH MY LOOKS (because frankly I'm not 100% impressed with what the girl at the place did)... even while she was cutting it, I just felt totally removed from the situation.

I made the decision like four days before I did it.  Basically stress, using cheap dye for two years, and aggressive cheap shampoo had resulted in my hair just giving up and jumping ship.  The bathroom floor was covered in long red hairs and I woke up every morning with what felt like handfuls of it stuck down the back of my pyjama shirt and coming out in my brush.  It was terrifying.  Plus, the hair itself was all frazzled and split and pitiful from me forgoing regular trims for so long.

Everyone says things like "wow, were you nervous?" or "is it weird to make such a big change?"  The only weird thing was sitting in the barber chair and watching her unceremoniously hack off all that hair and remembering the time in high school when I cut my long hair down to shoulder-length.  I remember how panicked and weirded out I was.  This time... I'm just like meh, there it went.

Also, PSA, having short hair is amazing.  Showers are pretty much just ten-minute head massages.  Rubbing my hand across the shaved part feels really cool.  The back of my neck almost never gets sweaty.  My hair never gets caught in my purse strap.  Yeah.

Even better, I have yet to get ONE catcall since I got the haircut.  Might be from moving to a slightly better neighborhood, but either way I'm content.

I mean I know I had a shoulder-length bob for like five years, but the new haircut is way shorter, obviously.

I don't really want to go back to long hair (might buy a wig or two someday).  This cut isn't really my favorite, but I'm gonna grow it into more of a pixie cut that's randomly long on top.

Okay carry on.
Welcome to my third morning in my new place!  I left the neighborhood labeled Harlem and literally walked about fifteen blocks to a neighborhood labeled "Morningside Heights" which is, from what I understand, still Harlem but with a lot more white struggling actors lurking about.  I'm in a fifth-floor walkup (moving in was a bitch and my calf muscles are still hella sore and stiff) but now that I'm up here I'm OD'ing on joy.  I have my own little room with a loft bed and I built a little cuddle nook beneath it by folding up my futon mat and draping it with my quilt and reinforcing it with my pillows.  The guy who actually lives here has really classy taste, like everything in the room is gray and black and tan, and then there's all my hot pink shit shoved into corners.

My new roommates are pretty much never home the same time as me (I haven't even met one yet!) but are really cool when we run into each other.  My room gets dark at night when I turn the lights off, and there's a huge window for my plants to get all the sunlight they need.  Overall the apartment itself is at least twice as big as the one I left, with a pretty big living room area with a giant fold-out couch, an actual table with chairs around it, and a TV with a thing called Roku that basically means I can watch Netflix and Hulu Plus on it.  And there's a whole separate kitchen.  You can imagine that I might be very happy to be living in a safer place with nicer people and SO MUCH SPACE and all the appropriate cleaning supplies.  There's even a little five octave keyboard shoved into a corner which I plan to mess around with ASAP.

Anyway, I'm here till mid-August, after which I hope to move to that four- or five-bedroom geek girl paradise in Brooklyn that my new friends from the meetup club and I have been conspiring to found. I plan to go somewhere where I can paint the walls and will be able to stay for a matter of years, because I'm so tired of moving.  I want to put my blue suitcases away long-term.
lesmisloony: (MariusR manlove)
Okay I just want to talk about my parents for a second.

My mom and dad met because my mom was working at a gas station to help pay her way through college.  She was the daughter of the new pastor at a church in a little plaid mill town home from college for the summer, unimpressed with her parents' new digs.  She tells the story of this skinny little guy with big glasses and a mustache who came into the store every day to buy M&Ms and Mountain Dew, and, as she phrases it, "I thought that guy sure did like M&Ms and Mountain Dew.  It took a long time for me to realize that it wasn't the snacks he liked, but me!"

When they started dating she found out that, though he couldn't read music, he and his brothers had formed a popular bluegrass band that toured the country on an old bus.  My mom didn't care for bluegrass, but every weekend she went with them to their shows and felt kinda cool that the cutest guy in the band was her boyfriend.  They dated for something like five years before one day they were in a gas station just a few yards away from the one where they had met and he said, "So, my brother Johnny says we're not playing anywhere August 8th. What do you say we get married?" to which she replied, "Well, if you're sure Johnny thinks it's okay."

They're not perfect human beings, but I was born four years later and, even though I grew up repressed and with a lot of body image issues I inherited from my mom, I'm still really grateful for having had a very happy, healthy childhood.  And I turned out to be a stagedoor groupie, so I think it's hilarious that my mom was so grumpy about being the girlfriend of "the cutest guy in the band" and having to travel along with their tours.  Also, I don't care for bluegrass either but I'm really proud of my dad.

I don't know.  I see a lot of people talking about having been bullied as kids or in high school and I feel really blessed to have been so caught up in my own world that if anyone was trying to bring me down, I didn't notice.  I'm not saying it's easy when all your negativity is coming from within you, but at least you can be made aware of it and change yourself.

Yeah.  I'm lucky.

And tomorrow I move out of the Harlem nightmare and into a great little summer sublet.

Also, most of my financial worries seem to be behind me.

And I had an avocado for breakfast.

I'm very happy.
Perhaps you have heard me complaining about Gordo, the roommate who doesn't clean up after himself or flush the toilet and thinks he's better than me and shows it by constantly lecturing me about things like how my new job (at a publishing company) means me giving up on my childhood dreams of writing a book.  Also he frequently accuses me of sexism because misandry jokes hurt his feelings.  Basically just imagine the biggest MRA neckbeard brony you've ever met and that's it, that's the roommate.

Well for some reason I seem to be the only person who calls him out on things like leaving hours-old shit in the toilet and never doing his weekly chore, so of course I'm sort of the local bitch of the apartment, so much fun.  Also, I get some form of anxiety about leaving stuff that belongs to me unattended around people I don't trust.  I bought a four-tier shower shelf for the roommates one day and to soothe myself about leaving my shampoo, conditioner, and soap unattended I put rubber bands around them so that if someone wanted to steal some shampoo mine would be difficult to negotiate.  I didn't expect it to actually DO anything except help me feel better.

Until the other day when I went to shower and saw the rubber bands were off the bottles and lying across the shelf, meaning someone had touched my shit.  There was only one roommate home, so I sent him perhaps the most polite message I've ever sent, and our correspondence went like this:

cut for your flists )

I am so fucking done that I have literally told Sophia that I'm moving out in a month. Luckily, I met the best person ever this weekend and she also wants to move soon, so we're going to be in a free no-Gordo zone by the end of the summer.



continued )


lesmisloony: (squee ChanTho)
So I haven't been here in a while but HEY GUESS WHAT I got a full-time job with a salary that adds up to exactly twice what I was making at Bubba Gump (but it's full-time and not part-time) and also... benefits!  I now have great health insurance including eyes and teeth, FSAs, a 401K that I'll probably set up next year, discounts on hardware and software and tickets to movies and Broadway shows and all sorts of things, a potential scholarship fund if I want to take any classes that I can pretend are for the job (my translation certification!), end-of-the-year bonuses, ten paid vacation days a year AND ten paid sick days a year, and probably other things I've forgotten.  Plus I make twice rent in a WEEK.

Things this means: well, besides the obvious (I'll have a doctor soon in case another embolism decides to pop up), I'll have enough money to go back to France if something important happens AND I'll be paid the whole time.  I can finally afford things like furniture, new clothes, food, an accordion, to get the viruses off this laptop, a kindle, maybe even a desktop someday...!  (And obviously I could even get a NEW laptop but that'll be my last priority since I feel very loyal to Listolier, the laptop I've had for six years.)  AND I CAN GET THAT ROBOT DINOSAUR.  And when the lease is up here with the roommates who frequently make me want to scratch my skin off, I'll pretty easily be able to afford going to somewhere where I have my own room in a 3- or 2-bedroom!!!

Yes.  Oh and did I mention, the job is customer service at a publishing company?  A textbook publishing company, but still it's a foot in the right door!  And I have all the things I've always wanted: a huge cubicle with a fancy chair, a job that involves me doing a thing on a computer from nine to five, a watercooler, an hour for lunch, a cool boss, and an excuse to wear my pencil skirts.  Omg.  We even have a half-day Friday and Monday off because of Memorial Day or something, but it's all paid!!!

Okay off to work.  Next time I update I'll tell you about my stagedooring adventures.

(And though this is all amazing, I just started Monday and won't get paid till the 7th, and I only have $30 to live off of until then, so the end of my misery is in sight but not quite here yet.)
How long has it been since I've used a happy icon?

So Bubba Gump has my back both emotionally and financially.  AMC cut everyone down to two shifts a week, so I'm only there for the free movies now.  Meanwhile my bills can totally be paid by the Bubba Gump base pay, and I can live (and buy Subway or order pizza or buy shoes!) off the modest tipshare the bussers get (last Thursday I got $67!).  They consistently give me five seven-hour shifts a week, too!  And everyone there is so silly and adorable (and they all know showtunes!) that I always leave cheery and jazzed.

But just when I was content to stop sending out resumes and crying over monster.com postings, I got an email asking for a phone interview with a little publishing company here in the city.  The interview went well and I have an in-person one scheduled for Thursday.  THEN several hours later anOTHER job I'd applied to called and set up an interview for tomorrow!  The publishing company wants me for customer service (which I'm totally comfortable with and yay a publishing company!) and the other company needs an entry-level sales person to try to convince rich people to sponsor kids in Africa or something.  Obviously I want the customer service job.  But both of these are full-time with benefits!  AND if I don't get either I just stay at Bubba Gump, where I'm totally happy (honestly if I had to leave now, just two weeks after finishing training, I'd be really disappointed).

On April 23rd, the day tumbling Whovians were meant to draw tally marks on their arms, I remembered partway through my final training shift that I hadn't done it.  I sighed and mumbled "darn, it's April 23rd, I was going to do that tally mark thing" and the girl training me went "OH YEAH!", grabbed a pen, and started drawing tally marks on her own arms!  Later I was subwaypooling home with a different girl and we were talking about pasta and she said "well my favorite are bowties because bowties are cool" and I was like DID YOU SAY THAT ON PURPOSE, haha.  Plus I made one friend just by joining in uninvited on her singing Defying Gravity.  We spend a lot of time dancing and singing to each other.  Bubba Gump is like that.

Anyway, for my birthday I went out to my uncle's house in the Jersey suburbs, and my mom and grandma and uncle and aunt (and cuzband ughakfdja;lkf he hugged me and i was like i will never let go of you) had a lovely day of acting silly and eating delicious food.  It was honestly a better birthday even that the free Eurodisney trip last year, though it doesn't quite beat out my magical day in Bordeaux with Nunozart and bisous from Flo.  Still, my mom and I got into some champagne and produced this, which still makes me laugh my ass off.

Then I brought the fabric and sticky tack my mom gave me for my birthday back to my apartment and turned the loft Sophia bequeathed me into a hot pink fortress of solitude filled with MOR posters and glow-in-the-dark stars.  I'm sitting in it right now with my own personal light on and Sophia has gone to sleep out on her bed and it really feels like I have my own space where I have control of my life without affecting or annoying someone else.  She has also been really cool about the hideous print on my curtains, which I ADORE because it's just very very me.  I am in my perfect element right now on this little cot surrounded by paraphernalia.  I have money in the bank, I caught up on my bills, I have money in my wallet, and I even have another round of tipshare waiting for me at Bubba Gump from Saturday night.

My aunt drove me into the city yesterday morning with an old dresser in the back (meaning I finally put my clothes into drawers and am not living out of a suitcase for the first time since EARLY AUGUST!) and she's so enchanted by NYC that she helped me see my building and my neighborhood and the whole city with new eyes.  I'm not as determined to get out of here as I was a week ago.  I'm back on track for wanting to have a studio here someday and have a real person job, though I do still want to retire to the Appalachain mountains someday, or just move there once I've had enough of city.  I feel so much better though.  I have opportunities, personal space, spending money, and my perkiness back.
Ooookay so probably I should update this because I know that last post was pretty pitiful.

Weirdly enough, the job at Bubba Gump is my salvation right now.  It's hard work and long hours with not much in the way of breaks, but the other people there are so great that I always come home in a fantastic mood.  I'm making a teeny bit more than minimum wage anyway, but my job consists of four different positions, and the other day I was scheduled as a "tablesetter" and learned that that meant I could pick up my share of the tips the next day... I now have $66 in cash in an envelope... from one shift!  Plus I should be getting my check from the stupid cinema job today maybe.  I'm still behind on two of my student loan payments, but now it looks like I'll be able to swing it, and by next month I should be doing just slightly better than breaking even.

I'm ridiculously busy and my feet hurt all the time but I'm trying to keep it together as best I can.  Things are looking up, though.  And I do want to try to stick it out here at least through November, maybe the end of next January if I can swing it just so it's a full year.  Obviously I'm hoping that damn American version of MOR gets its ass over here before I have to pack up and go.
This is going to sound really melodramatic, but most days I can't figure out why I survived that pulmonary embolism.  I just feel like there hasn't been a point to my life since then and nothing particularly good has come out of it.  Nothing has really made sense since before that time.  I feel like my life would have been such a good story if it had ended there, but now it's dragging on.  Like a tv show that shouldn't have been renewed for another season.
For anyone who hasn't been near my tumblr, basically I'm having a horrible time.

After nearly two months of unemployment I finally caved and went for a part-time job at a cinema here in Harlem.  I went in all excited and on day one realized that my new coworkers and managers were brash and rude and disrespectful, almost as bad as the customers.  Three weeks of constant, back-breaking and blister-inducing and demeaning work and I finally got my first paycheck... for $278.  My rent is $350 alone and that's only because there are four people crammed in this shitty little apartment.  There's also student loans, a metrocard, and my phone to think about, for starters.

So I went out and got a second job at my favorite restaurant in Times Square.  I've only done two shifts there, but juggling both schedules is going to be ridiculous.  I don't think I can leave the crappy cinema paycheck behind to live off the restaurant.

All this is leaving no time or money for any of the fun stuff.  I just keep thinking, if I was anywhere else this money would be enough.  If I were anywhere else I wouldn't be sending out five resumes a day with no response.  I can't figure out what I'm doing here.  So basically... I just cry a lot.  This city isn't what I expected.  This isn't Paris.  I can't see a future here.

For the first time in my life, I just want a little house in the woods.  In the mountains.  With a punch buggy and a pet pig and a job that pays me enough to fly overseas or up to NYC every once in a while.

January 2017

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