Erin RUTH (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lesmisloony) wrote2011-09-16 03:07 pm
lesmisloony) wrote2011-09-16 03:07 pm
Entry tags:
On accourt pour un nouveau départ
So you guys remember me talking about how right before MOR came into my life I had let people make me become really negative and I was miserable all the time, blah blah?
Facebook does this thing where it digs up your old statuses now, and on this day in 2009 my status was:
...just slept through two classes. Someone pass the cyanide... I might as well sleep through the rest.
When I read that just now my eyes got HUGE and I thought, "That's a HORRIBLE thing to say!" I see the humor kind of, but still, joking about suicide...
Oh, and here's a picture I took with a friend from the hall around the same time:
The caption was: "This is the poster for Suicide Wednesday. Just end it all."
Also not cool, past self.
I met the other au pairs today, and they're pretty cool. I learned that I am definitely an introvert (or, as Kelley put it, an extroverted introvert) because as soon as the initial meeting was over and everyone was heading off in a group to grab food and get to know each other every fiber of my innards was screaming for me to find a way to go home and lie on this bed and refresh internet pages like I'm doing now. I had no reason though, so I stayed to get to know the girls. We grabbed some food at a Monop' and I sat there biting back the urge to force them all to listen to every stagedooring story I had. Then I fought the urge to be a know-it-all about Paris. Then I tried to subtly show off that my French is better than theirs (I don't mean to sound like a snotball, but I have a huge advantage having lived here for a year and having spent so much time gossipping with fans at the hotel doors. Also there was one girl who had been here ~*~two whole weeks~*~ and was from Canada so she immediately was acting all superior but she pronounced the "s" in "ils" every time... her French is about the equivalent of mine when I got here last year, maybe less). I'm used to being the strongest personality in a group, but the only way I could find to get these girls' attention was tell them about how recently I was a prude. They promised to corrupt me and one let me try her beer (beurk!).
It was a decent time, but after we browsed through two or three stores I finally made up an excuse and said I had to head home. I felt so relieved to be alone again. I did a good job socializing and they all seem very nice, but it's times like these that I realize just how much I love being left alone.
Facebook does this thing where it digs up your old statuses now, and on this day in 2009 my status was:
...just slept through two classes. Someone pass the cyanide... I might as well sleep through the rest.
When I read that just now my eyes got HUGE and I thought, "That's a HORRIBLE thing to say!" I see the humor kind of, but still, joking about suicide...
Oh, and here's a picture I took with a friend from the hall around the same time:
The caption was: "This is the poster for Suicide Wednesday. Just end it all."
Also not cool, past self.
I met the other au pairs today, and they're pretty cool. I learned that I am definitely an introvert (or, as Kelley put it, an extroverted introvert) because as soon as the initial meeting was over and everyone was heading off in a group to grab food and get to know each other every fiber of my innards was screaming for me to find a way to go home and lie on this bed and refresh internet pages like I'm doing now. I had no reason though, so I stayed to get to know the girls. We grabbed some food at a Monop' and I sat there biting back the urge to force them all to listen to every stagedooring story I had. Then I fought the urge to be a know-it-all about Paris. Then I tried to subtly show off that my French is better than theirs (I don't mean to sound like a snotball, but I have a huge advantage having lived here for a year and having spent so much time gossipping with fans at the hotel doors. Also there was one girl who had been here ~*~two whole weeks~*~ and was from Canada so she immediately was acting all superior but she pronounced the "s" in "ils" every time... her French is about the equivalent of mine when I got here last year, maybe less). I'm used to being the strongest personality in a group, but the only way I could find to get these girls' attention was tell them about how recently I was a prude. They promised to corrupt me and one let me try her beer (beurk!).
It was a decent time, but after we browsed through two or three stores I finally made up an excuse and said I had to head home. I felt so relieved to be alone again. I did a good job socializing and they all seem very nice, but it's times like these that I realize just how much I love being left alone.