Erin RUTH (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lesmisloony) wrote2012-08-28 01:54 am
lesmisloony) wrote2012-08-28 01:54 am
Entry tags:
(no subject)
So by the way, the things I was talking about a couple weeks ago:
I'm not going to make a dating site profile open to guys and girls. I'm not going to open that profile back up at all. I don't need a relationship, I just need (my) friends. Am I straight? Maybe, maybe not.
I don't think I'm meant to be in a relationship. Maybe it'd be different with a different guy, but dating stuff has always seemed cheesy to me, I bristle whenever I feel like someone's treating me like we're not equals (a marriage proposal, for instance, as something a guy gets to contemplate for ages and ages but a girl is expected to say yes to in a matter of moments), and the idea of walking down an aisle in a fancy white dress embarrasses me. Not in a cute "Aww, you guys!" way, but actually in a being-forced-to-sing-karaoke-in-front-of-strangers way. I would feel like the wedding/engagement ring was trying to mark me as someone's property, sharing a home with someone would feel like a dead-end, and let's not even think about what a pregnancy would do to the way my mind works. I wouldn't want people to be confused if I didn't change my last name, or to have a joint bank account and not know who had earned the money I was spending, or to HAVE to share a bed for the rest of my life. None of that appeals to me.
I think a lot of this came from growing up assuming no one would ever find me attractive, but it isn't like that anymore. Now I feel like giving up my happy bubble to share it with a man would be a HUGE infringement on my... well, myself. My independence.
What I *can* see is me and my bff roomie lying on our stomachs watching crappy TLC programs together, sharing clothes, dying our hair together, doing coordinated Halloween costumes*, and then going to our separate rooms to sleep. I can see us going on silly adventures, cooking for each other, and ordering pizzas and crazy hours of the night. I have a background in this: this is what life was in the dorms, and this is what my summer with Kelley was (minus all the hours I spent lying facedown on the carpet crying over MOR and Maktav). This is the sort of relationship I'm familiar, comfortable, and perfectly happy with.
So yeah, add all this to my list of reasons why I'm going back to the States. Why break in new bff roomies when I already had so many?
*oh, and I've decided that my recent obsession with cosplaying comes from a person who is OBSESSED with Halloween not being able to make and put on a costume for going-on-three years.
I'm not going to make a dating site profile open to guys and girls. I'm not going to open that profile back up at all. I don't need a relationship, I just need (my) friends. Am I straight? Maybe, maybe not.
I don't think I'm meant to be in a relationship. Maybe it'd be different with a different guy, but dating stuff has always seemed cheesy to me, I bristle whenever I feel like someone's treating me like we're not equals (a marriage proposal, for instance, as something a guy gets to contemplate for ages and ages but a girl is expected to say yes to in a matter of moments), and the idea of walking down an aisle in a fancy white dress embarrasses me. Not in a cute "Aww, you guys!" way, but actually in a being-forced-to-sing-karaoke-in-front-of-strangers way. I would feel like the wedding/engagement ring was trying to mark me as someone's property, sharing a home with someone would feel like a dead-end, and let's not even think about what a pregnancy would do to the way my mind works. I wouldn't want people to be confused if I didn't change my last name, or to have a joint bank account and not know who had earned the money I was spending, or to HAVE to share a bed for the rest of my life. None of that appeals to me.
I think a lot of this came from growing up assuming no one would ever find me attractive, but it isn't like that anymore. Now I feel like giving up my happy bubble to share it with a man would be a HUGE infringement on my... well, myself. My independence.
What I *can* see is me and my bff roomie lying on our stomachs watching crappy TLC programs together, sharing clothes, dying our hair together, doing coordinated Halloween costumes*, and then going to our separate rooms to sleep. I can see us going on silly adventures, cooking for each other, and ordering pizzas and crazy hours of the night. I have a background in this: this is what life was in the dorms, and this is what my summer with Kelley was (minus all the hours I spent lying facedown on the carpet crying over MOR and Maktav). This is the sort of relationship I'm familiar, comfortable, and perfectly happy with.
So yeah, add all this to my list of reasons why I'm going back to the States. Why break in new bff roomies when I already had so many?
*oh, and I've decided that my recent obsession with cosplaying comes from a person who is OBSESSED with Halloween not being able to make and put on a costume for going-on-three years.
no subject
I don't think D knew he was going to propose until the words popped out of his mouth!
I wore a gorgeous red evening gown and had possibly the most unconventional but brilliant and laid-back legal wedding ever.
I refuse to have a joint bank account. I give D the same amount every month for essentials, go halves when things go wrong (cooker going boom, boiler dying or paying for car insurance/MOT).
If a relationship is making you feel pressured, you're in the wrong relationship.
On the other hand, my cousin is about as interested in men and relationships as I am in watching grass grow, and she seems perfectly happy :)
no subject
... granted, they do live together and obviously my mum got pregnant, but yeah. My bf's parents don't even live together, but they're still a couple.
Obviously I'm not trying to convince you that "getting married is the only way to live your life!!!", just saying that being 'in a relationship' doesn't necessary lead to you being pressured to do things that you don't want to.
I've never made or put on a Halloween costume :(. It might be because I have a phobia of skulls, and even going to the supermarket to buy groceries is Serious Scary Business in Halloween-mask-selling season.