The Land of Squee

So by the way, the things I was talking about a couple weeks ago:

I'm not going to make a dating site profile open to guys and girls. I'm not going to open that profile back up at all. I don't need a relationship, I just need (my) friends. Am I straight? Maybe, maybe not.

I don't think I'm meant to be in a relationship. Maybe it'd be different with a different guy, but dating stuff has always seemed cheesy to me, I bristle whenever I feel like someone's treating me like we're not equals (a marriage proposal, for instance, as something a guy gets to contemplate for ages and ages but a girl is expected to say yes to in a matter of moments), and the idea of walking down an aisle in a fancy white dress embarrasses me. Not in a cute "Aww, you guys!" way, but actually in a being-forced-to-sing-karaoke-in-front-of-strangers way. I would feel like the wedding/engagement ring was trying to mark me as someone's property, sharing a home with someone would feel like a dead-end, and let's not even think about what a pregnancy would do to the way my mind works. I wouldn't want people to be confused if I didn't change my last name, or to have a joint bank account and not know who had earned the money I was spending, or to HAVE to share a bed for the rest of my life. None of that appeals to me.

I think a lot of this came from growing up assuming no one would ever find me attractive, but it isn't like that anymore. Now I feel like giving up my happy bubble to share it with a man would be a HUGE infringement on my... well, myself. My independence.

What I *can* see is me and my bff roomie lying on our stomachs watching crappy TLC programs together, sharing clothes, dying our hair together, doing coordinated Halloween costumes*, and then going to our separate rooms to sleep. I can see us going on silly adventures, cooking for each other, and ordering pizzas and crazy hours of the night. I have a background in this: this is what life was in the dorms, and this is what my summer with Kelley was (minus all the hours I spent lying facedown on the carpet crying over MOR and Maktav). This is the sort of relationship I'm familiar, comfortable, and perfectly happy with.

So yeah, add all this to my list of reasons why I'm going back to the States. Why break in new bff roomies when I already had so many?


*oh, and I've decided that my recent obsession with cosplaying comes from a person who is OBSESSED with Halloween not being able to make and put on a costume for going-on-three years.

I'm thinking about maybe going to Cardiff over Halloween weekend in an attempt to see Doctor Who live...  Especially since there's no classes that Monday.  My friends are going to Astérix on Friday night, so that'd give me Saturday to get there, Sunday to see the show, and Monday to come back.  I'd also obviously have to see that big wharf-y bay place and jump up and down on that sidewalk and see if I went down to the Torchwood hub and all that good fannish stuff.

After I sat out of the Les Mis birthday party I realised that I need to get up off my shrinking butt and do some stuff, and fast!  So this is a wavery little plan I've been contemplating since last night.  It'll be kind of a shame to go it alone, but no one around me loves Doctor Who enough to join in.  KELLEY WO BIST DU??  THE SHOW OPENS WITH AN OOD.  AN OOD.  AND THERE ARE CYBERMEN.  AND AN OOOOOD.

When I stop being so lazy I plan to check on things like... other stuff to see in Cardiff... and all that.  And also cheap housing of some kind.  But right now all I can think is OOOD I mean let's do this!  Also gotta talk to my financial sponsor... my mother, that is.

I JUST REALLY WANT TO CARVE A PUMPKIN AND START TROLLING EBAY FOR PIECES TO CREATE THE MOST EPIC COSTUME FRANKLIN STREET HAS EVER SEEN.  But it is not to be.  Still, someone whose class ends when the bells of Notre Dame strike five shouldn't really be complaining about anything, I guess.

Anyway, all this depends on getting tickets.

So, seven years ago I learned HTML from the middle. Like, I was on the internet and I needed to change my font colour and I googled it and that's it. The rest was sort of gradual. But my wonderful COMP 110 class (Chapter 1: Where is the Start Button?) is teaching me all sorts of exciting basic stuff that I should have known all along. I feel like a total HTML beast right now. I got so excited about it I completed my weird webpage assignment already and it's not due until the 2nd. I can do all sorts of cool HTML crap now. Like type Misérables without going to Word and getting the e with the acute accent.  Next up, I fix my own angelfire site.  It's in need of help.  It uses the word "timline."  TIM-LINE.  I can't spell.

Today was the first day I didn't watch Repo since last Friday, but I made up for it by obsessively stalking through websites, capping the film, making icons, and watching youtube clips of the old stage version and stuff.  Last night suchcuriousity and I were waiting to watch it and in the process decided to attempt to put on Pavi and Graverobber makeup.  We only had this dark red lipstick, black lipstick, white powder, and black liquid eyeliner, but the end effect wasn't awful. Here's me on my roommate's bed in a successful attempt to terrify her.  We're special special people.  And then I found a website about how to MAKE PROSTHETICS out of, like, tissues and stuff, so I think I got this Pavi thing under control.  Now I just wish it was Halloween.  I might get bored and make my stolen face mask over spring break or something anyway.  And then put it on and run up and down the halls making people uncomfortable, which is fun to do.  I gotta work on my Pavi walk.  And then today Kat decided to dress up as Blind Mag, so I shopped some Mag eyes and pale-ified her face a little.  Here.  And here is a better one of my and  Graverobber.  Don't we look special.

Oh!  Epic win today in English.  Kat came in and just starts going, "I'll keep those vultures guessing.  I'LL KEEP THOSE VULTURES GUESSING."  And this girl goes, "I LOVE that movie!"  And we were all "...REALLY?"  And then we decided she was our new BFF.  We talked about Repo like crazy people until class started.  During class, I doodled a chibi!Pavi in a school uniform and a dunce cap with the caption "Little Pavi fails at fractions."  Ten out of nine, Pavi?  Either that or the ninth Gentern has two heads, which was my second doodle.  Let's see if I fail that class.  But then after it was over this dude (the only boy in the class) comes up and goes, "Hey, were you guys talking about Repo earlier?"  It r so famous.

Last thing and then I sleep!  My TA for Western Civ is extremely attractive and adorable.  I think he's the lovechild of my NaNo boys.  He has the hyper and the fluffy brown hair and the stubble and the skinny from one and he has the blue eyes and perfect skin of the other.  Oh my gosh, he's amazing.  He was wearing this little Simon Amstell-ish sweater/collared shirt/tie outfitand he had had four cups of coffee and couldn't sit down for more than a second.  Watching him would have made my moodtheme collapse in exhaustion, but I have never been so interested in Plato in my life.

The end!  Sleep nao.

ETA: I almost started buying the stuff to make prosthetics last night.  Would that be weird, if I made my Pavi mask, like, next weekend?  And why can't it be Halloween all the time?  I swear, when I move to NYC after college I'm going to cosplay at all sorts of conventions and stuff, because it's pretty much the funnest thing to do ever.  I want everyone to let me make their costumes every Halloween.  Like, everyone in the world.  Costumesssss.

Seriously, EVERYBODY on Frankers was the Joker tonight. There were so many Jokers and bananas it was kind ridiculous.

Sometime I amgoing to talk to you about my Old Gregg costume. Later on I shall tell about our Halloween misadventures. Or I might not, seeing as NaNo starts tomorrow. AHHHHH.
 
 


Also I found my missing earring!  It was sitting on the table waiting for me at work.  It's all gonna be okay.

Ow ow ow ow I just got off work at Cracker Barrel.  Those slags never let me off when they say they will.  I didn't get off today till 6:00 when the schedule said 3:00.  Also there was this one lady who was so evil to me that I hid in the bathroom and cried.  I'm usually not like that, either, but still.   That job SUUUCKS.  But then the lady who was with her came up to the kitchen and was like, "Please don't let my Aunt Ruth ruin your day.  She's always like that."  And later another guy who was waiting with me was like, "I hope Aunt Ruth falls in the bathtub." which was hilarious.

Yay though, by the time I got back to the house DW was on BBCAmerica, a channel UNC does not pick up.  So now I'm watching the Family threaten Martha and Matron Redfern or whatever... dude, Baines is a hottie.  He belongs in my men-who-remind-me-of-Monty picspam.

My parents are out of town (yay fall break alone?) but my darling mommy made me a quiche first and left it in the freezer.  Also she bought me a bunch of that nasty Food Lion sushi, but she meant well, so I still love her.  Also the QUICHE.

ALSO my Old Gregg costume is almost done!!!

Also Top Gear!  I've missed Top Gear SO MUCH because of the whole lack of BBCAmerica, but here I am and now I'm about to watch it!

Anwhoo, my back and shoulders hurt from carrying those heavy trays of nasty-looking food to cranky old people, my legs are all hurty because of the way my trousers rub, and don't even ask me how my feet feel.  I was at Cracker Barrel from 8am to 6pm.  Owwww.

But hey!  If your coworkers see you burst into tears they suddenly become VERY helpful!  (Also they're all very sweet.  It's not the people I hate, it's the job itself.)

Last thing.  The Hispanic guys on the grill line at Cracker Barrel more or less don't speak English... or they choose not to... and today I was trying to get a baked potato from one of them, and in the course of the conversation I was like, "Oh, no, I lied to you." and his answer was, "I love you too, bonita."  Which made me go "...?"  And then this OTHER guy kept calling me "me amor" or... whatever.  But I was able to understand him asking what I was looking for and telling me to be careful it was hot!  Yayyyy French nerds who understand bits of Spanish!

WHOA LOOK AT THAT!  LOOK AT MY MOODTHEME.... *stares*

/MASSIVE POST