The Land of Squee

I keep almost posting to lj but not having that much to say. I have an outline for my third book finally. I'm still working 39 hours a week but it seems that will drop off next week because after Christmas it won't be as busy... I'm in talks with ANOTHER person to be my roommate but for chrissake i cant fucking trust ANYONE and i'm slowly learning to hate all of humanity and never have any friends again

oops that was bitterer than i usually am, just dont fucking get me started on failed roommates

ummm I'm weirdly addicted to Finding Bigfoot, like it's the only show I sit down at the tv to watch every week (Sunday nights at 10) because other shows I catch up with later online... I miss Conan and Jon Stewart REALLY BADLY because i tend to work past midnight, but hopefully once the store starts closing at 10 again they'll come back into my life...

guns shouldnt be legal for private citizens to own

i dyed my hair again

this icon is the first gif i ever made in my whole life and i cherish it

hope the world doesnt end before christmas

OH ALSO I finally opened a damn etsy shop! It's here and everyone should buy these dolls because they take three or more days to make and I'm selling them for stupidly low prices but I'm just worried people won't be willing to pay for them. Ugh. How come people will buy a $200 Tony Stark action figure but when I knit a doll of him WITH GLOW IN THE DARK ARC REACTORS and offer it for $26 no one gives a shit? I'm not internet-famous enough I guess.

Well, the neck pain has persisted for a little over a week now.

Tonight I'm going to Germany.

Yesterday was interesting.  I had my date.  We talked for a long time, I drank a Bloody Mary (AWFUL), and then we walked along the Seine, a weird vendor tricked him into buying a Santa hat which he gave to me, and he kept sliding closer to me and saying he was cold.  And he would use any excuse to put an arm around me or whatever.  Like, embarrassed that the vendor tricked him?  Put his forehead on my shoulder.  That kind of stuff.  And I was like welp I imagine I know where this will lead.

And sure enough, I was in the middle of talking about a car horn or something when he started kissing me.  I figured what the hell, I'll kiss back.

I guess it won't ever be the way it was with my dumbass again.  I just thought he was so magical and we wanted each other for months.  There was so much buildup and so much obsession.  I don't hold any grudges against him anymore.  I just kind of miss the person I thought he was.  I miss that person a lot.  I expected too much from him.  But now that I've started thinking about other things too I understand why I cross his mind so infrequently.  I don't mind.  I'm a little bit sad, but I'll soldier on.

Anyway, my goal was to kiss someone else before the end of the year, and I did it.  It wasn't magical or exciting or anything, but I'm glad it happened and I'll be glad to see him again when I get back from Germany.

Then I went to see a little production of Les Liaisons dangereuses, my favorite movie and one of my favorite books, and... I knew I'd been feeling poorly, but... well... twenty minutes into the show, I threw up.

It was a tiny theatre, I was in the second row, and the actresses were standing less than ten feet away from me when suddenly that Bloody Mary came spewing back into being.  All over every item of clothing I was wearing.  I sat there stunned for a second, then got up and hurried to the back of the theatre where I saw a technician and was in the middle of saying "J'ai vomi--" when another round came out.  And then another.  He grabbed a trash can for me and I threw up two more times.  He led me to the bathroom where I tried to clean up in the sink.

My face.  My hair.  My turtleneck.  My favorite dress.  All the space between my turtleneck and my favorite dress.  My tights.  My legwarmers.  My boots.  My scarf.  My underwear.  EVERYTHING.

I spent ages contorting over that sink, trying to get the most obvious chunks off.  It was so awful.  Finally a lady appeared and asked if I wanted her to call the firemen.  THE FIREMEN?  Gah France wtf.

She asked if I wanted to go back and watch the rest of the show, and I was like, Lady, I reek of tomato juice vomit.  I just need to lie down.  She was so sweet though, telling me not to be embarrassed and not to worry about it and reassuring me that the other people in the theatre don't know me, blah blah.  It was really sweet.  I finally managed to go back in to collect my bag and coat, whispering a "désolée!" to the people who were sitting around my little vomit puddle, and hurried back out.  I was drenched and putrid and... now I had to take the métro home.

Most awkward métro ride ever.  I tried to smoosh my drippy stinky self into corners, but after a few minutes I could always see other people in the train start to sniff and look around.  It took so long.  I finally arrived home and immediately stripped everything off and started a load of wash, but the smell was on me too.  I showered, but I was too dizzy to stay upright long so I had to lie down.  The smell was still there, so I had to shower again with more soap once I had collected my balance.

When I told my host family they gave me the day off, but there isn't anyone else to watch the kids.  I was glad to lie back down, but the kids are on their own and after an hour or so they started fighting and I had to come break it up.  I played board games with them for a few hours until their mom came in, sent me back to bed (yay!) and is now feeding them lunch.  I've eaten a clementine and a compote (apple sauce stuff) today, and that's it.  I have no appetite and get easily nauseated.

And tonight I have a nine-hour train ride to Germany.  Add in my neck pain and... maybe I could just kill myself?

IS IT POSSIBLE TO LOVE SOMETHING SO MUCH YOUR SOUL EXPLODES?


Direct link because lj was a mofo last time and wouldn't embed that other youtube video.

I am being very emotional today.  Stagedoor Mélanie posted a GORGEOUS Floto and I got so jealous I think it broke me.  And my mom is treating me like I'm overreacting to another fandom but DUDE. This is different.  I was there.  It took me four days to get home and one day to decide I wanted to go back to France.

JOYEUX FLOËL EVERYBODY.

I can't believe I'm home.  Like... I'm home.  I haven't been here since August and yet it's like I never left.  The dog got a haircut and that's the only thing that's different.

My family laughed at me because at dinner I was holding my fork upside-down in my left hand like a French person, but I genuinely could not imagine another way to eat lasagna.  And then out of habit I stacked everyone's plates and helped my mom clear the table (with my host family clearing the table is a team effort) and the SHOCKED look on my mom's face was a little bit amazing.

My brother is still a douchebag.  I found out that my overall Sorbonne grade was a SIXTEEN--I got a 14,5 on the written exam and, get this, 18,25 on the oral.  DUDE I AM A GENIUS.  I got that grade without paying ANY ATTENTION IN CLASS EVER because I was so busy doing things like this and this and this and this.

FLORENT MOTHE. If you ever stop by my livejournal again, I MADE AN 18,25 on my oral exam at the Sorbonne.  I am a GENIUS.  YOU SHOULD MARRY ME.  (I mean, we all drew a topic we'd discussed in class and I just *happened* to draw Demain dès l'aube, meaning my topic was VICTOR HUGO FOR GOODNESS'S SAKE, so really I lucked out.  But remember when I talked about dancing around my room to Victime de ma victoire instead of studying??  THIS IS THE RESULT.)

Anyway I was saying.  My brother was like eighteen? That's failing.  And then he made fun of my host family's name and he made fun of the gifts they sent my parents and he talked over everyone at the table about his life going to a party school at the beach, because THAT'S what we all want to hear about.  Not the girl who hasn't been home since August because she's been living in a foreign land.

I mean, he doesn't mean any harm.  He's just really not fun to deal with.

I'm lying in my bed now--MY bed, my actual bed!--after a full night's sleep.  The train ride was pretty awesome.  I left Trenton at 8am, never got out of my seat, the lady next to me gave me some cake, and we ended up getting delayed for an hour in Washington.  And then we were ten minutes from home and we had to pull over for like thirty minutes while another train passed, and all the other people on the train were like losing their minds because they were going to be SO LATE and they were like NOOO I'M AN HOUR AND A HALF LATE and I was like I'M FOUR DAYS AND AN HOUR AND A HALF LATE but I was kind of laughing the whole time because honestly.  After what I've been through, I don't know if anything will ever upset me again.  Travel-wise.

I played Sims the whole way home, stopping every once in a while for MOR or Conan.  My game is pretty epic right now, but I'm going to post my screencaps later in a friends-locked post because I don't want to be ashamed of myself again.  Oh, and I spent an hour and a half making a much better Flo Sim than my previous one.  He's not in the game yet because my previous one still is, but you know he will be soon.  The new Flo has the Flonytail.

I watched the MOR video with my subs on the plane and again on the train (IT WAS RESEARCH) and caught like four spelling errors (emporer, reqiuems, fun stuff) and one sub that flashed by WAY TOO FAST.  I'm going to watch the video with my mom today who speaks no French, is an English grammar teacher, and has no idea what to expect to get her opinion (she'll finally understand me when I tell her stories about her unwilling future son-in-law!).  Then I fix my errors and SUBTITLES FOR YOU FOR CHRISTMAS, INTERNET!

I also have two more MOR reviews and three-ish more stagedoor stories to tell.  And that forum is definitely going to take shape soon.  I don't know much about such things, so I'm investigating to see if lefora is a better thing than forumotion or whatever... idk.

I went through all my clothes and put on a look-how-big-everything-is-now fashion show for my mom.  AND THEN!  Three years ago I bought this CHIC AS A MOFO coat thing with cape sleeves off eBay but it was too small.  It was SO CUTE that I just kept it in the back of my closet all these years.  Today.  It fits.  Oh my gosh, I'm going to be the most amazing person in France.  I'll post a picture of that life-changingly awesome coat at some point so I can blow all your minds.  I forgot I even had it!   I finally got on an American scale--I've lost forty pounds since I left America.

OH MY GOSH birds are tweeting outside my window.  I have seen nothing but pigeons since August.  BIRDS!  I forgot about living in the woods and stuff.  There are birds!

I don't remember if I had anything specific to say in this post other than SQUEE AMERICA.  Basically, I woke up at 6am and decided to internet.  I kept dreaming I was in airports or at the stage door trying to tell Flo and Mikele I got home safely (because they are obviously worried about me) and then I'd wake up, squint around and be like Wait, where am I?  And it would hit me--HOME!--and I'd cry a little and then go back to sleep.  And next time I go to sleep I'll wake up and it'll be Christmas!  Wow.

Loony: The cheese is stuck in the cracker hole! I can't get it out... wait, no, there it goes. I got it.
Molly: ...
Loony: I had to go in the back way to dislodge it.
Molly: That's what SANTA said.
Loony: He had to go in the back way to get what he wanted?
Molly: He had to go in the back door... instead of the chimney...
Loony: Hurr hurr, breaking in the back door instead of coming down the chimney?
Molly: Because the back door was open and he knew there wouldn't be any alarms.
Loony: But someone might cry out upon witnessing his entrance.
Molly: Someone might scream when he comes in the back door.
Loony: Unless he slips.

FOLLOWUP:
Molly: I wanna watch "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."
Loony: I wanna take a great pumpkin and smash it over Charlie Brown's funny-lookin' head.
Molly: I wanna take my paring knife and cut out your innards.
Loony: ...

I GOT A DISCO BALL FOR CHRISTMAS YOU GUYS.

Also a pretty jacket and some other stuff, but mostly omg disco ball.


And I never finished that Christmas story, but here's another creative writing assignment of funtimes and stuff. This was when Richmond was weird and bitter about his childhood. He's more chill now. As is Julian. Obvs. Also, Richmond's voice changed, um, A LOT.

Also, when I turned this in the creative writing professor said it didn't make sense and needed more concrete details and he didn't really know what was going on, but I remain convinced that there's plenty of information there. In fact, because he failed to understand this story, I think he's probably a bit slow. That is all.

( Do I need a Richmulian tag? )