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lesmisloonyWell, the neck pain has persisted for a little over a week now.
Tonight I'm going to Germany.
Yesterday was interesting. I had my date. We talked for a long time, I drank a Bloody Mary (AWFUL), and then we walked along the Seine, a weird vendor tricked him into buying a Santa hat which he gave to me, and he kept sliding closer to me and saying he was cold. And he would use any excuse to put an arm around me or whatever. Like, embarrassed that the vendor tricked him? Put his forehead on my shoulder. That kind of stuff. And I was like welp I imagine I know where this will lead.
And sure enough, I was in the middle of talking about a car horn or something when he started kissing me. I figured what the hell, I'll kiss back.
I guess it won't ever be the way it was with my dumbass again. I just thought he was so magical and we wanted each other for months. There was so much buildup and so much obsession. I don't hold any grudges against him anymore. I just kind of miss the person I thought he was. I miss that person a lot. I expected too much from him. But now that I've started thinking about other things too I understand why I cross his mind so infrequently. I don't mind. I'm a little bit sad, but I'll soldier on.
Anyway, my goal was to kiss someone else before the end of the year, and I did it. It wasn't magical or exciting or anything, but I'm glad it happened and I'll be glad to see him again when I get back from Germany.
Then I went to see a little production of Les Liaisons dangereuses, my favorite movie and one of my favorite books, and... I knew I'd been feeling poorly, but... well... twenty minutes into the show, I threw up.
It was a tiny theatre, I was in the second row, and the actresses were standing less than ten feet away from me when suddenly that Bloody Mary came spewing back into being. All over every item of clothing I was wearing. I sat there stunned for a second, then got up and hurried to the back of the theatre where I saw a technician and was in the middle of saying "J'ai vomi--" when another round came out. And then another. He grabbed a trash can for me and I threw up two more times. He led me to the bathroom where I tried to clean up in the sink.
My face. My hair. My turtleneck. My favorite dress. All the space between my turtleneck and my favorite dress. My tights. My legwarmers. My boots. My scarf. My underwear. EVERYTHING.
I spent ages contorting over that sink, trying to get the most obvious chunks off. It was so awful. Finally a lady appeared and asked if I wanted her to call the firemen. THE FIREMEN? Gah France wtf.
She asked if I wanted to go back and watch the rest of the show, and I was like, Lady, I reek of tomato juice vomit. I just need to lie down. She was so sweet though, telling me not to be embarrassed and not to worry about it and reassuring me that the other people in the theatre don't know me, blah blah. It was really sweet. I finally managed to go back in to collect my bag and coat, whispering a "désolée!" to the people who were sitting around my little vomit puddle, and hurried back out. I was drenched and putrid and... now I had to take the métro home.
Most awkward métro ride ever. I tried to smoosh my drippy stinky self into corners, but after a few minutes I could always see other people in the train start to sniff and look around. It took so long. I finally arrived home and immediately stripped everything off and started a load of wash, but the smell was on me too. I showered, but I was too dizzy to stay upright long so I had to lie down. The smell was still there, so I had to shower again with more soap once I had collected my balance.
When I told my host family they gave me the day off, but there isn't anyone else to watch the kids. I was glad to lie back down, but the kids are on their own and after an hour or so they started fighting and I had to come break it up. I played board games with them for a few hours until their mom came in, sent me back to bed (yay!) and is now feeding them lunch. I've eaten a clementine and a compote (apple sauce stuff) today, and that's it. I have no appetite and get easily nauseated.
And tonight I have a nine-hour train ride to Germany. Add in my neck pain and... maybe I could just kill myself?
Tonight I'm going to Germany.
Yesterday was interesting. I had my date. We talked for a long time, I drank a Bloody Mary (AWFUL), and then we walked along the Seine, a weird vendor tricked him into buying a Santa hat which he gave to me, and he kept sliding closer to me and saying he was cold. And he would use any excuse to put an arm around me or whatever. Like, embarrassed that the vendor tricked him? Put his forehead on my shoulder. That kind of stuff. And I was like welp I imagine I know where this will lead.
And sure enough, I was in the middle of talking about a car horn or something when he started kissing me. I figured what the hell, I'll kiss back.
I guess it won't ever be the way it was with my dumbass again. I just thought he was so magical and we wanted each other for months. There was so much buildup and so much obsession. I don't hold any grudges against him anymore. I just kind of miss the person I thought he was. I miss that person a lot. I expected too much from him. But now that I've started thinking about other things too I understand why I cross his mind so infrequently. I don't mind. I'm a little bit sad, but I'll soldier on.
Anyway, my goal was to kiss someone else before the end of the year, and I did it. It wasn't magical or exciting or anything, but I'm glad it happened and I'll be glad to see him again when I get back from Germany.
Then I went to see a little production of Les Liaisons dangereuses, my favorite movie and one of my favorite books, and... I knew I'd been feeling poorly, but... well... twenty minutes into the show, I threw up.
It was a tiny theatre, I was in the second row, and the actresses were standing less than ten feet away from me when suddenly that Bloody Mary came spewing back into being. All over every item of clothing I was wearing. I sat there stunned for a second, then got up and hurried to the back of the theatre where I saw a technician and was in the middle of saying "J'ai vomi--" when another round came out. And then another. He grabbed a trash can for me and I threw up two more times. He led me to the bathroom where I tried to clean up in the sink.
My face. My hair. My turtleneck. My favorite dress. All the space between my turtleneck and my favorite dress. My tights. My legwarmers. My boots. My scarf. My underwear. EVERYTHING.
I spent ages contorting over that sink, trying to get the most obvious chunks off. It was so awful. Finally a lady appeared and asked if I wanted her to call the firemen. THE FIREMEN? Gah France wtf.
She asked if I wanted to go back and watch the rest of the show, and I was like, Lady, I reek of tomato juice vomit. I just need to lie down. She was so sweet though, telling me not to be embarrassed and not to worry about it and reassuring me that the other people in the theatre don't know me, blah blah. It was really sweet. I finally managed to go back in to collect my bag and coat, whispering a "désolée!" to the people who were sitting around my little vomit puddle, and hurried back out. I was drenched and putrid and... now I had to take the métro home.
Most awkward métro ride ever. I tried to smoosh my drippy stinky self into corners, but after a few minutes I could always see other people in the train start to sniff and look around. It took so long. I finally arrived home and immediately stripped everything off and started a load of wash, but the smell was on me too. I showered, but I was too dizzy to stay upright long so I had to lie down. The smell was still there, so I had to shower again with more soap once I had collected my balance.
When I told my host family they gave me the day off, but there isn't anyone else to watch the kids. I was glad to lie back down, but the kids are on their own and after an hour or so they started fighting and I had to come break it up. I played board games with them for a few hours until their mom came in, sent me back to bed (yay!) and is now feeding them lunch. I've eaten a clementine and a compote (apple sauce stuff) today, and that's it. I have no appetite and get easily nauseated.
And tonight I have a nine-hour train ride to Germany. Add in my neck pain and... maybe I could just kill myself?
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no subject
Date: 2011-12-23 07:24 pm (UTC)I'm sorry you're not feeling well, hopefully the rest of holidays will be better. Enjoy your trip to Germany! :3
no subject
Date: 2011-12-23 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-26 07:30 am (UTC)Hope you get to feeling better.