Bordeaux, or The Time That Everyone Shipped it for my Birthday

[lesmisloony]

If you have ever heard anyone say they had the best birthday ever, they are lying.  It is impossible.  Because I had the best birthday ever.  

And last year my friends parked a freaking TARDIS in front of the dorm.

I dragged myself out of bed at ridiculous o'clock and tried to finish the Jonathan doll in the train only to discover I'd forgotten my white yarn and couldn't do his arms. BLAST.  So instead I slept.  I arrived in Bordeaux and found my hotel, which was near the train station and was freaking ADORABLE.  The lady at the check-in desk was so nice I wanted to be her facebook friend.  Basically, I was already in a great mood thanks to the lady when I went toward my room and passed the cutest courtyard ever...

 

...and then I unlocked my door to reveal the cutest ROOM ever...

 

Seriously, if you're ever at or around Bordeaux, STAY AT THE HÔTEL AQUITAINE.  It is SO CUTE and the people there are SO NICE and it's not that much more expensive than an Étap or Ibis!

So anyway I was kinda exhausted and chose to flop across one of the beds and internet for a while.  I watched the latest Desperate Housewives and I was like, I know I need to find a fnac to pick up my ticket, but this is niiiiice and it's my frikkin birthday.

I did eventually venture out.  My tram passed the Troupe's hotel, which was super close to mine, and I saw a few fans camping out front who seemed to be having a picnic.  Do whatcha gotta do.  Meanwhile Bordeaux was quite pretty and I found the fnac with little trouble.  After picking up my ticket I was poking around trying to find out how much a Ben L'Oncle Soul CD would cost me when I got a text...

 

Yes my heart almost exploded.  Wouldn't yours have?  I clutched the phone to my chest and wandered dizzily around the fnac for a little while before I was able to collect myself, buy a panini from a guy who douchily switched to English on me, and then stopped back by my hotel (this time I saw JP Asian out front of the Troupe's hotel) before heading to the Patinoire Mériadeck.  A fan had told me that there was actual STAGEDOORING in Bordeaux which was better than hoteldooring.  

At the patinoire I met Camille who I saw a bit in Rennes and her friend Marion who helps Nuno run the fanpage.  They apologetically asked if I had heard the news: Mikele was doing Chabada that night and Nuno would have to play Mozart.

I FLIPPED OUT.

SURPRISE NUNOZART FOR MY BIRTHDAY???

And that was the first gift given to me by the Birthday Fairy.

The girls were shocked at my reaction.  They said most people try to resell their tickets when they find out Nuno is Mozart.  I was like BIATCH I ALMOST SLEPT ALONE IN A TRAIN STATION IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY FOR NUNOZART and they were like Oh that was you?? Haha.  So I basically danced around freaking out with joy.

And then the Birthday Fairy struck again:

 

Happy birthday fangirl here is you some Sylvain.

OMGGGGGG.

And then the bus pulled up.  You know me; I was dancing around like Patriiiice Patriiiiice où est Patriiiiice but some beardy Salieri guy got off the bus instead.  Pfffft whatever.  lol as if I don't still adore him.  

When he finally saw me I was like "Hi!!! It's my birthday!!!" and Florent Mothe went "Oh!" and grabbed me by the shoulders and bisous'd me.

SAY WHAT.

Flo does not bisous fans.  UNLESS HE LOVES THEM AND IT'S THEIR BIRTHDAY OMG.  My head almost exploded.  As you can see in the following picture:

 

Omggg.  His BEARD was on my FACE and it was like soft and stuff.

Haha.

Oh Flo why do you have to love me so much now that I've dumped you for Patrice?

Speaking of which, after a lot of me bouncing around like NUNOZARTSYLVAINFLOBISOUSDMEWHAAAAT and the other girls literally being like Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?  because I actually did get a little light-headed after Flo blew my mind, a van arrived and pulled up and went past the fans and all the way into the little court thingy.  And out popped my boyfran.  

And I was like !!!?!? because he knew I was there for heaven's sake but he gets all shypants and forgets to look in a fanward direction so he was just going inside.  And I am a mofo idiot and was not yelling his name.  I haaaate yelling for them.

And suddenly the Birthday Fairy struck for the third time!

Another fan. Called for Patrice.

There was a whole group of them yelling for him to come over!

THEY DIDN'T EVEN YELL FOR FLO!

And he got all bashful and flattered and was like RLY? and came over to sign things.

 

Patrice Maktav.  I know you can speak some English.  STOP HIDING YOUR EFFING GORGEOUS HAIR AND YOUR AMAZING EYES.  Ne cache pas tes cheveux et tes yeux!  Tu es très beau Patrice Maktav.  Ne sois pas stupide.   And also je t'adore but I think you know that.

lol and then he went right past me and didn't see me.  GIANT LOL.  Every once in a while I wonder if he's slightly dumb.

As you can see on my face in this picture.  HE HAS NO IDEA I'M THERE.

 

But then he turned to go inside and went Oh! Erin! I didn't see you there!  and I was like Yyyyep.

AND THEN THIS.

 

Except another fan took this picture which I like much more because his ARM is so GIANT and his other tattoo arm blends into my dress:

 

Also, two fans were taking pictures of us because they support our love.  All the fans support our love in fact.  It's not like those sad sad days of flobsession when I was fighting off a pile of preteens and a gorgeous dancer named Tamara for a guy who was demurely grateful for fans even if they seemed to make him slightly uncomfortable.  These are much brighter days of bisous'ing and text messages and fans who want me to marry him so I can stay in France with them.  

And then I was like Hey Patrice Maktav did you know I have a sonic screwdriver?

He did not.

 

LOOK AT HIS DELIGHTED FANBOY FACE OMG

And then he made a Doctor face and pointed it and I was like actually it even lights up.

 

And he was like WHAT OMG and I was like Yep it's a flashlight you see.

 

And then Patrice Maktav stuck my sonic screwdriver inside his jacket and tried to run away with it into the theatre so I grabbed at him and went MAIS NONNNNNN and he grinned all Maktavstically and returned it to me.

That's right, we're so bro he's not afraid to joke with me!  I was so flipping delighted.

 

Also note how tightly I am clutching the sonic.  And yes, this is the photo that inspired us to say Maktav is a secret t-rex.  So if you hear something about Patrice Maktav's flappy t-rex arms, idk it came from this somehow.  His stance.  And finally he had to go so he waved all awkwardly and cutely and went inside and I was like MY LOVVVE FOR YOUUUUU BURNS SO BRIIIGHTLYYYY

And then one of the girls lit up my world by saying "Je ne l'ai jamais vu comme ça avec une fan!"  You have never seen him like that with a fan before because WE ARE IN LOVE OKAY.

Solal also came out and thought it would make sense to pose like this for everyone's pictures:

 

 

That lady's face says it all.

And then once he was up I decided Why not.

 

I also finally got a picture of Flo's addition to the Mozart van:

 

Beautiflo.  

So then I went around to the other side of the building, met up with more fans, gossipped for a while, and retold the stories of Why I Love Patrice which I tell over and over again in a desperate effort to win him more fans.  Sometimes it even works!  The other girls were all really cool.

At last we went into the patinoire and, um... you know how "patinoire" means "skating rink"?  Basically that.  There was a stage built over one end and there were bleachers set up over the other end, and around the edges were the seats that were built into the actual building.  I was in one of those... and there was a freaking WALL between me and the floor level.  Meaning that during curtain call I was either going to have to become a pole vaulter or I was not going to get a good spot.  Where are you, Birthday Fairy?

The show began, and I was so omg excited for Nunozart that I involuntarily squealed when he busted out of that crowd of girls with his Sweeney Todd hair.  NUNOZARRRRRT.  The people around me were not about my enthusiasm.  Pffft.

Bordeaux Trublion 

Magnificent as always.  Still slappin' his butt and being sassy. 

Then I decided I wanted to video Laurie's cute antics but halfway through the scene my phone buzzed.  For some reason I decided it was okay to peek and see who sent it as long as the light wasn't too bright and irritating and... it was from PATRICE MAKTAV.  He was sitting backstage, presumably in his Trublion costume, and he was like I am gonna text that American.  lol I freaking adore that man.  And if you were wondering, the text essentially said "Your sonic screwdriver is too cool."  Patriiiice you are so precious.

La Princesse de whoops it's a text from Patrice 

Um so to be honest I haven't actually had time to watch these videos really?  But I tried to get the important Nunozart moments.  I was pretty darn distracted. 

Bordeaux Tatoue moi 

Aaaand... 

Bordeaux Je dors sur des roses 

Anyway so then it was intermission.  I'd spotted an empty seat that was at the front of the bleachers, so slightly further away than the seat I had but not on the other side of some walls, so I decided to go for it.

AND THEN THE BIRTHDAY FAIRY DESCENDED IN THE FORM OF MYRIAM THE WONDERFUL FAN WHO GAVE ME THE HOTEL IN ROUEN AND WHO IS QUITE NICE ALL THE TIME.  She approached me and said THERE IS A SEAT IN THE SECOND ROW DO YOU WANT IT

DO I WANT IT?????

So I got all :DDDDDDDDDDD and frolicked after them and sure enough, an empty seat in the second row.  As I went to sit in it I beamed at the lady next to me and was like C'EST MON ANNIVERSAAAAAIRE and she was like yyyep.  I was right up in the Rosenbeeeerg side of the stage too, which is also the Da Ponte side of the stage thanks very much.  OMG ACT TWO.  IT IS MY FAVOURITE ACT BECAUSE IT HAS MAH BOYYYS IN IT. 

Bordeaux Place je passe 

LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL PROXIMITY OMGGGG

Bordeaux Le Bien qui fait mal 

Sylvain was there that day so I kept trying to video him but also being unable to resist video'ing that Flo guy.

Also at the beginning of Si je défaille Marjo was all up in my grill sweeping and she seemed to spot me being all :DD so when she went back to Laurie she whispered something and pointed into the audience.  Then when the two of them were finishing their little reprise all up in my face she did a giant theatrical wink that I'm feeling pretty sure was directed at me.  THANKS MARJO IT'S MY BIRTHDAY 

Bordeaux Le Mariage 

This is my favourite thing about Nunozart.  I love his enthusiasm whereas Mikele always looks so PISSED about getting married.  Quit that Mikele.

And then... there were Rosenbeerrrrrrrrrg shenanigans for my birthday!!!

 

He says Salieri is showing his 'Raiponce' side by having a Flonytail, and then Flo says speaking of "réponse" (response) I have a question: (Rosenberg: Hands on the buzzer!!)  category- music, classical, Mozart... does his music please you that much?  It's glorious.

Anyway and then it was Da Ponte time!  And omg I did not expect Patrice Maktav to be right up in my face in his Da Ponte getup for some reason so I was just like :DDDD and also kind of shmoopy about it because seriously he is just so precious and delightful and he was really on that night too.  I already loved the character Da Ponte since last semester so now it's just double the obsession.  And then I realised that the other girls were turning around in their seats and grinning knowingly at me so I was like SHUT UPPPPP and went back to gazing.  They seemed pretty tickled though.

Bordeaux Victime de ma victoire 

WHY DOES THE PRINCE INCONGRU BOOGIE HAVE TO HAPPEN RIGHT WHEN DA PONTE IS TRYING TO PICK UP THAT LADY SALIERI DUMPED AND GETTING REJECTEDDDD

And then everybody waited for the curtain to actually fall before they rushed the stage--thanks, Birthday Fairy!!!  Manners!!  And I got to be in my spot which is basically under Patrice's feet.  I didn't take any more video buuuut I found someone else's:

See Patrice waving at me at the beginning and end?  Yeah.  Byyyye Patrice!

Anyway so afterward the girls gave me a ride to the Troupe's hotel, but other than seeing everyone walk past nothing exciting happened there.  Well, except for the girls' conversation about how their favourite thing about the whole show was the way I watched Patrice with "étoiles dans les yeux!" and then they were like She never even looked away from him!  and another went No, once I saw her watching Flo, but it was because he was singing.  ...I'm guessing that was during Victime de ma victoire.  That is a difficult time for me nowadays.

But midnight had come and gone.  It was no longer my birthday and the Birthday Fairy had moved on to make someone else's life awesome.  So I trudged back to my adorrable hotel, realised I'd forgotten my pyjamas, and crashed fully clothed until I dragged myself out of bed again to catch a train home in the weee hours of the morning.

Ahh.  I love all the things.