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lesmisloonyAfter spending two days with some crazy wonderful German girls stalking the filming of the next series of Merlin at Pierrefonds (yep, I saw Colin and Bradley and the gang IN THE FLESH and then went off to bother Florent Mothe the next day) I swung back by my house in Paris, showered, changed, repacked, and set off for Rouen.
German Lara and I took a really noisy train out and dragged her ridiculously heavy suitcase a couple blocks to a bus stop, then rode the bus wayyyy out into the boonies where the Zénith and our hotel were situated. We'd heard that the Troupe's hotel was actually all the way back in the city centre, which google maps said was an hour and a half away on foot, so we were only a tiny bit stressed.
We went straight to the Zénith, dragging our luggage and everything, since it was Friday night and Lara had a ticket to see Nunozart. I'd have been a lot more jealous if I hadn't just seen him on my birthday. We tried to poke around in search of some kind of stage door, but there was nothing and we got fussed at by a security guy. We ran into Nuno Fan (from Amnéville and Bruxelles) who offered us a ride to the Troupe's hotel after the show. SCORE. So I took Lara's RIDICULOUS SUITCASE and dragged it off to our hotel, about ten minutes away, while she went in to witness greatness.
In the hotel lobby I overheard the lady checking in saying that her daughter was a huge fan who'd seen the show sixteen times. I was like Pardon me but I guarantee you I know her. She said her name is Marie and I was like YEP. I was her fb friend and then I met her at Amnéville. Half a second later Myriam (from Dijon and Lyon and Rennes and Bordeaux) turned up to check in too and we were all like HEY EVERYONE THE TROUPE'S HOTEL IS WAY TOO FAR AWAY THIS IS NONSENSE. It was a Mozartienne bisou-fest.
It was more like a motel than a hotel, America-style, with weird crappy little rooms that opened out onto a walkway. I was actually kind of delighted though because IT WAS A BUNKBED. A BUNKBED. It was like being back in the dorm!! Also there was wifi. Home is where the wifi is. As the end of showtime neared I pulled my crap together and went back over to the Zénith, waited outside till the show ended, found my peeps, and we got into Nuno Fan's car.
Unfortunately, the traffic leaving the parking lot was outrageous and we were all panicking a little. We finally made it out and were cruising along when we pulled up to a light and saw a van next to us. And in the front seat... Nuno!! He saw Nuno Fan and started waving, then recognised me and waved even harder. He mouthed something no one understood and mimed going to sleep against his hands, then waved again. Nuno Fan let the van pull ahead of us so we could follow it to their hotel, which really upset the GPS. We were all delighted though... until they managed to shake us at a light.
We arrived at the hotel and there was already a bit of a crowd. Nuno was basically RUNNING into the hotel, and Nuno Fan was piiiiissed. I know how homegirl feels though. I spent most of the early part of the night avoiding a fan I'm not too fond of and saying hi to all the jillions of other fans of whom I AM fond. I think Laurie waved at me or something. By the time we got there though, Patrice and the early-returners were already inside of course.
Flo popped out of the hotel after a bit to do pictures because he is just the nicest there is. When he grinned and went Heyyy! at me I was like "If I told you it was my birthday again would you believe me?" I was hoping to get a bisou out of the situation, but unfortunately Flo was just like "But I thought your birthday was... before...?" and I was like "Yeahh it was." and he was like "So today is not...?" and I was like "No, it was last week, sorry Flo." Haha joke fail.
I had texted Patrice but, as per always, he either had not seen it or was not answering. WHY ARE YOU SO FRUSTRATING PATRICE MAKTAV. I went back to hang with my girls but I noticed Flo on his way back in and remembered that he had done a good job of summoning Patrice for me in Lyon, so I sneaked back over under the pretense of taking some fan's Floto and then I went "Flo? Will you--- will- will you--?" and he interrupted me with "I'll get him. Patrice? Okay." and he went inside.
My head almost exploded. It was amazing.
Even more amazing? About half a minute later Patrice came out, bisous'd me, said something I didn't understand at all, and then started walking through the crowd. I will always remember the vision of him glowing all preciously as he pushed through the hotel doors in Strasbourg the first time he came back for me, and I will always remember him turning repeatedly and looking down over his shoulder with that same look on his face to make sure I was following as he led me away from the doors so we could hang out over by the vans. Omg Patrice Maktav everything about that moment was just beautiful.
We started off being all awkward, both of us muttering at each other with our arms crossed, but I was like Hey you said you like all the BBC stuff right? and he affirmed this and I was like Um have you heard of Merlin? Mehr-leen? Merrrrlin? The King Arthur one? Unfortunately he had not. So I was like Well I saw the filming yesterday. At a castle. And even though he didn't know the show Patrice was like HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THIS and I was like Well my German friend Lara who talked to you in Strasbourg-- and he smiled over at where Lara was standing in the crowd and was like Yep, I remember her. YOU DO? Omfg Patrice effing Maktav. I can't even. How are you even real. Anyway I told him her friends were super fans who brought us along for the ride. And then we were able to just start randomly chatting about all the things because that was enough for him to relax and start asking me all kinds of questions. He asked about my hometown, then tried to repeat it and the pronunciation came out so French my ovaries cried. He asked what I was going to do after I graduate and I told him idk but I am NOT going to continue being a student because I hate homework. He asked about my plans to move to New York and what kind of job I wanted and then just started going Agh, Toulouse, that's pretty soon isn't it? How soon is Toulouse? and I was like THE END OF THE MONTH PATRICE MAKTAV PLEASE CAN WE NOT and he was like And you're sure you're never coming back to France? And I was like SRSLY I CAN'T I don't think but idk. And then we got on the subject of the Doctor Who episodes I've found him with subtitles and he was like I cannot get megaupload to work! Except he said mey-ga-oop-loodd because he's FROM FRANCE. He said on French TV it's dubbed but he really liked the guy who did Dah-veed Teuh-nonn's voice. I told him I had it with subtitles though and he was like Yeah but I'd have to see the Chriiistmas episode tooooo and I was like I HAVE THEM ALL and he was like Do you keep them? and I was like DUH. Then he said something about how maybe we'd have to see each other sometime in Paris so I could teach him the ways of piracy and I was like !!!!!!!!! buuuut nothing ever came of that one, spoiler. By the end of the conversation he was, like, leaning with one elbow on the window of the van we were standing near and his long stringy arms were everywhere and it was really freaking cute. When the conversation was wrapping up he said "Sinon, ça va?" and I didn't understand so he repeated it. I got the words that time but not the meaning so I repeated it myself and he just kind of sighed and smiled before rewording the question. PATRIIIIICE. MARRY ME AND WE WILL LAUGH AT EACH OTHERS' LIMITED LANGUAGE ABILITIES AND I WILL HIDE YOUR TOOFTHBRUSH EVERY NIGHT AFTER YOU GO TO SLEEP.
Anyway then he bisous'd me again and went inside and I think I grew tiny wings and fluttered back over to the fans. It was magnficent. And then some nice fans I'd met in Rennes gave me and Lara a ride back to our hotel in their car.
The next morning Lara and I took the bus back to the Troupe's hotel in order to see everyone leaving for the show. I met up with Véronique and her precious little daughter Léa whom I met in Bruxelles and have corresponded with on facebook ever since. I was actually finishing the Jonathan doll because somehow it still wasn't done, but I did manage to complete it at long last. Then I was just kind of holding it as Ariane went by and when she saw me she was like OMG YOU and stopped to chat a little. She asked where I was from and when I told her she was like America, really? Oh cos we were talking about it and someone thought you were Australian. I was like lol I guess you didn't talk to Mikele or Flo or Nuno or Patrice then because they know my life. I didn't actually say that I just thought it.
Jocelyne came out too, with a dog on a leash for some reason, and she recognised me at once and was like HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR MY DOLL and I was like omg no need and she was like SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHEN WILL YOU BE AVAILABLE TO WATCH THE SHOW FOR FREE and I was like Caen? Saturday? and she was like I'm on it but um how can I get in touch with you? and I was like Patrice has my digits! and she legit went "...Maktav? Patrice Maktav?" with a look of utter confusion. YES JOCELYNE. HE PLAYS DA PONTE. I KNOW YOU AREN'T IN ACT TWO BUT HE ALSO TENDS TO BULLY YOU DURING LE TRUBLION SO REALLY I'M SURE YOU REMEMBER THAT JUST A LITTLE. Come on guys this is just getting ridiculous. She was super super sweet though.
Finally I gave Jonathan his doll and he was really nice about it, though he didn't say anything like FINALLY MY DOLL which made me think he might not have known the dolls were a thing. He went over to the picnic area where Yamin and Solal were chilling and he showed them the doll and they started talking animatedly, maybe explaining that while he was gone EVERYONE GOT A DOLL including his replacement Fabrice. And then Jonathan pointed at me and the others all looked up and I was like !!!!!!
I saw Patrice coming out so I turned around to grab the postcard for Irina but because my back was to him for .24601 seconds he didn't see me and just went by like Bonjour fans. I was like UM NO but it was too late. TOO LATE. More importantly, Patrice Maktav was wearing shorts and knee socks.
Flo and Mikele came out, but they were mobbed and simultaneously in a hurry. Mikele had a pillow with him for some reason and took it into the van. Flo was wearing a Pink Floyd toboggan and giant dumb shades. It was adorrrable. They were throw into the van and as it was pulling away I waved, which is my favourite thing, and Flo saw me and waved back. Then he leaned out the window and yelled "Happy birthday!"
Omfg Florent Mothe did you just give us a running joke?
Then fans sort of dispersed after the boys left, but we hung around and sure enough, Nuno showed up, running late but still willing to stop and chat. He greeted me and Lara as the international fans, remembering us from Lara giving him that amazing Nuno L'Opéra Rock book in Strasbourg. I told him he was Mozart on my birthday in Bordeaux and it was THE BEST PRESENT EVER and he was like Oh hurray! and I don't quite remember the transition but all of a sudden Nuno was like "I saw your review of the show in Brussels and I still haven't been able to finish it, but I began to read it and I said, 'Oh, this is Eh-ron!'"
Cue my head exploding a little bit. There was definitely some strategic lj-locking going on later that day. And if you see this entry too, HI NUNO YOU'RE A NICE MAN and your version of Mozart is the best!
Anyway so Nuno was taken away since it was like zero minutes till showtime and then the girls and I went wandering around the city. It's aight. I went back to the hotel to do some interneting and skyped my mommy and she was like WHERE ARE YOU I'M SO CONFUSED YOU'RE ALWAYS IN A CITY I CAN'T PRONOUNCE and I was like Hroo-whehhh and she was like um wtf and I was like Well next week is Kehhh and she was like Sigh.
Then we went over to the Zénith and Merwan did some kind of concert thing in the grass where he played the guitar and sang songs for a crapton of fans.
All the fans were making shmoopy faces and singing along and I didn't know either song and honestly wasn't that interested in them. I'm sorry Merwan, I'm sure you're a nice man and all but those weren't really my style. But clearly all the fans loved them because yeah. You'll be aight Merwan Rim. You'll have a non-Dove career, I'm sure of it.
Then we went over to a McDonald's to chill and eat AMERICA FOOOD till showtime.
As for the show itself, my seat was ridiculously far back but during intermission I found a spot near Léa and Véronique with another spot next to me for Lara. Something interesting happened... hmmmm I know it did I remember being like I HAVE TO TELL THIS TO THE INTERNET... oh poo I don't remember. Oh well. Mikele was... not on form...
Anyway we'd warned Véronique to park on the other side of the street so after the show the four of us grabbed each other and booked it to her car. We made it back to the Troupe's hotel is PLEEENTY of time and the first to show up, as usual, still in makeup, was Yamin.
The bus arrived, and this time I was freaking READY like, YOU WILL NOT EVADE ME BOYFRAN.
So I verbally pounced on Patrice as he went by. He grinned and went "Ça gaze?" and I just stared at him so he chuckled a little and tried again and I still didn't understand so finally he just smiled and said "Ça va?" Wtf you are so cute but why would I understand that. Anyway I asked him to sign Irina's postcard and he asked if it should be in English or French. I picked English because we all know how great it is when Patrice Maktav speaks English. He asked her name and I wasn't sure because I was still thinking of her as défaille from tumblr, and Patrice was like Ummm it IS written right here so... I'll just assume that's it...
The second we started talking to each other we got paparazzi'd by Léa and Véronique. From both sides.
THE SOCKS THE SOCKS LOOK AT THIS SOCKS OMG
and then as he was about to go away Véronique asked him for a picture. They were posing and Véronique was like GET OVER HERE ERIN AND BE IN IT so I creeped up onto his other side and, according to Léa who had the camera, that was when he started to smile. Léa is so sweet for shipping us.
And then, German Lara, who is my absolute life hero right now, told Patrice in English that she had a question. He grinned and nodded, obviously understanding but adorably not willing to try to speak English back.
And then. Lara said. "We saw your video about a toothbrush?"
Now if you aren't around my tumblr or the Florum you might not know how much I bloody love the toofthBRUSH video. I watched it like ten thousand times and I quote it every few minutes. If anything in my life is ever misplaced I have to start going "Ya don' know where it is? YA DON' KNOW WHERE IT IS?" and you know. Just. Everything. Every time I watch that video it makes me laugh harder, like to the point where I have tears in my eyes and have to pause it so I can just literally rofl for a while.
So I was laughing my head off that Lara was talking to Patrice about this video, and then Patrice turned to me with his eyes all shiny and asked in French Did you guys like it?? and I answered in French like UM YES WE QUOTE IT ALL THE TIME I FREAKIN and Patrice was so. Excited. I can't even express. He was still speaking French at me and making me translate for Lara because he was being all insecure and precious when he went My friends all thought it was rotten, but you guys liked it?? Really?? omg. And then he asked if his English was okay in the video. Omg Patrice Maktav how are you so adorable.
And that basically concluded the Maktav portion of the evening. I was elated.
Not much later, Nuno showed up! He was kind of hanging out in the parking lot instead of coming over to the crowd in front of the hotel, so people started kind of splitting off and going over to bother him. Including me! I have no idea exactly what the transaction was, but suddenly a fan was handing Nuno a USB key and Nuno had busted out a laptop.
I think she had pictures she wanted to give him or something? It was weird.
And even weirder, a short time later Nuno was being incredibly silly and was messing around with a guitar. And when I asked him to take a picture, he didn't put the guitar down. Instead...
Hahaha omg so delightful. Or, as my mom said, "If I didn't know a G chord I'd say he was subtly flipping someone off."
And while Nuno was doing silly poses with other fans, I noticed Florent Mothe had arrived and was being super sweet. So I decided to go get me a Floto.
When it was my turn, our conversation legit went like this:
"Flo. Can I get a picture? Since it's my birthday?"
*sassyface* "Oh?? I thought you wanted only to see Patriiiiiiice now."
"...oh my GOD."
And yeah, on that last one my shock made my accent come out and I heard my voice say "Aw mah GAWD!!" in just like. Lol I cannot even express it.
AND LOOK AT HOW SMUG FLO IS.
Hahahaha wowww. I love it when he's a douchebag like that, it's amazing. I think after the picture was taken I managed to say something like "You're still a cast member!" or something and he might have just gone "Okay" all meekly and gone inside. As soon as he was gone I was like UM DID YOU HEAR THAT??? and it was awesome.
Unfortunately, the night did not end on that beautiflo bombshell. Nuno had suddenly started an acoustic concert in the corner of the parking lot, and Lara and Joanna wanted to stay and listen, understandably. Me, I needed to lie down and recover from how ridiculous my life is. Sometimes I just need to rant on the Florum, then just lie down, stare at the ceiling, and grin and shake my head. Because I know I've gotten pretty relaxed around these people, I know it looks like I'm a glamourous superfan, but really if you are reading this entry right now chances are I am exactly like you. Unless you're Flo or Nuno. I say this more and more as my life gets more and more amazing, but the first time I watched Vivre à en crever and knew that this show was to be my new love I could never have seen myself here. Ever. Even if I'd made up an imaginary fantasy life where I lived in France and stalked the show around I don't think I would have dared to go so far as to say that people in the Troupe would be my facebook friends and know my name and have my number and actually text me sometimes and have running jokes with me and try to pronounce the name of my hometown. I don't know. I just want to make sure I never take this for granted and never forget how impressive and outrageous and indescribable my world has become.
Anyway. Joanna and Lara wanted to stay to listen to Nuno, who was singing beautifully (someone put videos on youtube) but I was exhausted and overwhelmed and needed to emotionally digest my life. Myriam the Mikele fan seemed to be ready to leave, so I gave my place in Véronique's car to Joanna and I decided to go with Myriam. Then unfortunately Myriam had a change of heart and decided to wait until Mikele came back out of the hotel to talk to her. So I sat on the curb next to her mom and we retold each other various stagedoor stories. Meanwhile Véronique went back to the hotel with two empty seats in her car because Nuno was still being awesome and Joanna and Lara didn't want to leave yet. There was this annoying dance music coming from someone's room, like, the dude had put the speakers on his windowsill for some reason, and it was mixing really weirdly with Nuno's voice and guitar.
Finally Lara and Joanna decided to return to the hotel on foot (that's an hour and a half of walking!) and I continued to wait for Myriam to give up on Mikele. Nuno started being funny again with the fans who were still waiting, like taking more comedic pictures and re-enacting scenes from Grease and just being generally adorable. At one point he noticed me standing there and came over and went "Yes?" and I was like Uh? and he went "Oh, I thought you wanted to speak." it was sweet.
And then, a miracle occurred! At four o'clock in the morning, Mikelangelo Loconte came back out of the hotel! He said something to Myriam! We were free at last!
What I didn't realise was that the girls were already four people in a teeny little car, so smushing me in in the corner wasn't easy, but they were sweet enough to do it. They turned on the radio and some song in English started playing and they started singing along in the cute way people do when they think they know the words but they don't actually speak the language, and then one of them suddenly went Uh-oh, look out guys, there's an American in the car! She'll know what we're saying!!
The car ride seemed to take ages and most of the other girls dozed off. Finally we were at the hotel and I thanked them a billion times before clambering out and flinging myself onto my bunkbed. Joanna and Lara got back only a few minutes later.
GOOD GRACIOUS THIS ENTRY HAS TAKEN ME LIKE SEVEN WEEKS TO FINISH.
ON SUNDAY I GOT PICTURES WITH ALEXANDRE NUMBER TWO, THE ONLY DANCER I'D NEVER GOTTEN A PICTURE WITH BEFORE IN MY LIFE
Also Hédi who is precious.
Also the Mozart van
Also Marjolaine's fantastic shoes
Also Floflo making a flone call
Look at him he's so pissed because I left him.
Aaaand then Léa, being a precious precious little thing, gave me a present!
First off, I never knew how I much I wanted a phone charm till I had one. Second, I am pretty sure those bracelets are good luck because every time I wear them something awesome happens.
I saw Patrice and his knee socks for like .24601 seconds but he was all rushed and I forgot what I wanted to ask him aaaand yep that was Sunday.
AND THEN I WENT HOME.
THE END.
WRITTEN AND ILLUSTRATED BY LESMISLOONY
NOW I NEED TO WRITE ABOUT CAEN.
German Lara and I took a really noisy train out and dragged her ridiculously heavy suitcase a couple blocks to a bus stop, then rode the bus wayyyy out into the boonies where the Zénith and our hotel were situated. We'd heard that the Troupe's hotel was actually all the way back in the city centre, which google maps said was an hour and a half away on foot, so we were only a tiny bit stressed.
We went straight to the Zénith, dragging our luggage and everything, since it was Friday night and Lara had a ticket to see Nunozart. I'd have been a lot more jealous if I hadn't just seen him on my birthday. We tried to poke around in search of some kind of stage door, but there was nothing and we got fussed at by a security guy. We ran into Nuno Fan (from Amnéville and Bruxelles) who offered us a ride to the Troupe's hotel after the show. SCORE. So I took Lara's RIDICULOUS SUITCASE and dragged it off to our hotel, about ten minutes away, while she went in to witness greatness.
In the hotel lobby I overheard the lady checking in saying that her daughter was a huge fan who'd seen the show sixteen times. I was like Pardon me but I guarantee you I know her. She said her name is Marie and I was like YEP. I was her fb friend and then I met her at Amnéville. Half a second later Myriam (from Dijon and Lyon and Rennes and Bordeaux) turned up to check in too and we were all like HEY EVERYONE THE TROUPE'S HOTEL IS WAY TOO FAR AWAY THIS IS NONSENSE. It was a Mozartienne bisou-fest.
It was more like a motel than a hotel, America-style, with weird crappy little rooms that opened out onto a walkway. I was actually kind of delighted though because IT WAS A BUNKBED. A BUNKBED. It was like being back in the dorm!! Also there was wifi. Home is where the wifi is. As the end of showtime neared I pulled my crap together and went back over to the Zénith, waited outside till the show ended, found my peeps, and we got into Nuno Fan's car.
Unfortunately, the traffic leaving the parking lot was outrageous and we were all panicking a little. We finally made it out and were cruising along when we pulled up to a light and saw a van next to us. And in the front seat... Nuno!! He saw Nuno Fan and started waving, then recognised me and waved even harder. He mouthed something no one understood and mimed going to sleep against his hands, then waved again. Nuno Fan let the van pull ahead of us so we could follow it to their hotel, which really upset the GPS. We were all delighted though... until they managed to shake us at a light.
We arrived at the hotel and there was already a bit of a crowd. Nuno was basically RUNNING into the hotel, and Nuno Fan was piiiiissed. I know how homegirl feels though. I spent most of the early part of the night avoiding a fan I'm not too fond of and saying hi to all the jillions of other fans of whom I AM fond. I think Laurie waved at me or something. By the time we got there though, Patrice and the early-returners were already inside of course.
Flo popped out of the hotel after a bit to do pictures because he is just the nicest there is. When he grinned and went Heyyy! at me I was like "If I told you it was my birthday again would you believe me?" I was hoping to get a bisou out of the situation, but unfortunately Flo was just like "But I thought your birthday was... before...?" and I was like "Yeahh it was." and he was like "So today is not...?" and I was like "No, it was last week, sorry Flo." Haha joke fail.
I had texted Patrice but, as per always, he either had not seen it or was not answering. WHY ARE YOU SO FRUSTRATING PATRICE MAKTAV. I went back to hang with my girls but I noticed Flo on his way back in and remembered that he had done a good job of summoning Patrice for me in Lyon, so I sneaked back over under the pretense of taking some fan's Floto and then I went "Flo? Will you--- will- will you--?" and he interrupted me with "I'll get him. Patrice? Okay." and he went inside.
My head almost exploded. It was amazing.
Even more amazing? About half a minute later Patrice came out, bisous'd me, said something I didn't understand at all, and then started walking through the crowd. I will always remember the vision of him glowing all preciously as he pushed through the hotel doors in Strasbourg the first time he came back for me, and I will always remember him turning repeatedly and looking down over his shoulder with that same look on his face to make sure I was following as he led me away from the doors so we could hang out over by the vans. Omg Patrice Maktav everything about that moment was just beautiful.
We started off being all awkward, both of us muttering at each other with our arms crossed, but I was like Hey you said you like all the BBC stuff right? and he affirmed this and I was like Um have you heard of Merlin? Mehr-leen? Merrrrlin? The King Arthur one? Unfortunately he had not. So I was like Well I saw the filming yesterday. At a castle. And even though he didn't know the show Patrice was like HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THIS and I was like Well my German friend Lara who talked to you in Strasbourg-- and he smiled over at where Lara was standing in the crowd and was like Yep, I remember her. YOU DO? Omfg Patrice effing Maktav. I can't even. How are you even real. Anyway I told him her friends were super fans who brought us along for the ride. And then we were able to just start randomly chatting about all the things because that was enough for him to relax and start asking me all kinds of questions. He asked about my hometown, then tried to repeat it and the pronunciation came out so French my ovaries cried. He asked what I was going to do after I graduate and I told him idk but I am NOT going to continue being a student because I hate homework. He asked about my plans to move to New York and what kind of job I wanted and then just started going Agh, Toulouse, that's pretty soon isn't it? How soon is Toulouse? and I was like THE END OF THE MONTH PATRICE MAKTAV PLEASE CAN WE NOT and he was like And you're sure you're never coming back to France? And I was like SRSLY I CAN'T I don't think but idk. And then we got on the subject of the Doctor Who episodes I've found him with subtitles and he was like I cannot get megaupload to work! Except he said mey-ga-oop-loodd because he's FROM FRANCE. He said on French TV it's dubbed but he really liked the guy who did Dah-veed Teuh-nonn's voice. I told him I had it with subtitles though and he was like Yeah but I'd have to see the Chriiistmas episode tooooo and I was like I HAVE THEM ALL and he was like Do you keep them? and I was like DUH. Then he said something about how maybe we'd have to see each other sometime in Paris so I could teach him the ways of piracy and I was like !!!!!!!!! buuuut nothing ever came of that one, spoiler. By the end of the conversation he was, like, leaning with one elbow on the window of the van we were standing near and his long stringy arms were everywhere and it was really freaking cute. When the conversation was wrapping up he said "Sinon, ça va?" and I didn't understand so he repeated it. I got the words that time but not the meaning so I repeated it myself and he just kind of sighed and smiled before rewording the question. PATRIIIIICE. MARRY ME AND WE WILL LAUGH AT EACH OTHERS' LIMITED LANGUAGE ABILITIES AND I WILL HIDE YOUR TOOFTHBRUSH EVERY NIGHT AFTER YOU GO TO SLEEP.
Anyway then he bisous'd me again and went inside and I think I grew tiny wings and fluttered back over to the fans. It was magnficent. And then some nice fans I'd met in Rennes gave me and Lara a ride back to our hotel in their car.
The next morning Lara and I took the bus back to the Troupe's hotel in order to see everyone leaving for the show. I met up with Véronique and her precious little daughter Léa whom I met in Bruxelles and have corresponded with on facebook ever since. I was actually finishing the Jonathan doll because somehow it still wasn't done, but I did manage to complete it at long last. Then I was just kind of holding it as Ariane went by and when she saw me she was like OMG YOU and stopped to chat a little. She asked where I was from and when I told her she was like America, really? Oh cos we were talking about it and someone thought you were Australian. I was like lol I guess you didn't talk to Mikele or Flo or Nuno or Patrice then because they know my life. I didn't actually say that I just thought it.
Jocelyne came out too, with a dog on a leash for some reason, and she recognised me at once and was like HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR MY DOLL and I was like omg no need and she was like SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHEN WILL YOU BE AVAILABLE TO WATCH THE SHOW FOR FREE and I was like Caen? Saturday? and she was like I'm on it but um how can I get in touch with you? and I was like Patrice has my digits! and she legit went "...Maktav? Patrice Maktav?" with a look of utter confusion. YES JOCELYNE. HE PLAYS DA PONTE. I KNOW YOU AREN'T IN ACT TWO BUT HE ALSO TENDS TO BULLY YOU DURING LE TRUBLION SO REALLY I'M SURE YOU REMEMBER THAT JUST A LITTLE. Come on guys this is just getting ridiculous. She was super super sweet though.
Finally I gave Jonathan his doll and he was really nice about it, though he didn't say anything like FINALLY MY DOLL which made me think he might not have known the dolls were a thing. He went over to the picnic area where Yamin and Solal were chilling and he showed them the doll and they started talking animatedly, maybe explaining that while he was gone EVERYONE GOT A DOLL including his replacement Fabrice. And then Jonathan pointed at me and the others all looked up and I was like !!!!!!
I saw Patrice coming out so I turned around to grab the postcard for Irina but because my back was to him for .24601 seconds he didn't see me and just went by like Bonjour fans. I was like UM NO but it was too late. TOO LATE. More importantly, Patrice Maktav was wearing shorts and knee socks.
Flo and Mikele came out, but they were mobbed and simultaneously in a hurry. Mikele had a pillow with him for some reason and took it into the van. Flo was wearing a Pink Floyd toboggan and giant dumb shades. It was adorrrable. They were throw into the van and as it was pulling away I waved, which is my favourite thing, and Flo saw me and waved back. Then he leaned out the window and yelled "Happy birthday!"
Omfg Florent Mothe did you just give us a running joke?
Then fans sort of dispersed after the boys left, but we hung around and sure enough, Nuno showed up, running late but still willing to stop and chat. He greeted me and Lara as the international fans, remembering us from Lara giving him that amazing Nuno L'Opéra Rock book in Strasbourg. I told him he was Mozart on my birthday in Bordeaux and it was THE BEST PRESENT EVER and he was like Oh hurray! and I don't quite remember the transition but all of a sudden Nuno was like "I saw your review of the show in Brussels and I still haven't been able to finish it, but I began to read it and I said, 'Oh, this is Eh-ron!'"
Cue my head exploding a little bit. There was definitely some strategic lj-locking going on later that day. And if you see this entry too, HI NUNO YOU'RE A NICE MAN and your version of Mozart is the best!
Anyway so Nuno was taken away since it was like zero minutes till showtime and then the girls and I went wandering around the city. It's aight. I went back to the hotel to do some interneting and skyped my mommy and she was like WHERE ARE YOU I'M SO CONFUSED YOU'RE ALWAYS IN A CITY I CAN'T PRONOUNCE and I was like Hroo-whehhh and she was like um wtf and I was like Well next week is Kehhh and she was like Sigh.
Then we went over to the Zénith and Merwan did some kind of concert thing in the grass where he played the guitar and sang songs for a crapton of fans.
All the fans were making shmoopy faces and singing along and I didn't know either song and honestly wasn't that interested in them. I'm sorry Merwan, I'm sure you're a nice man and all but those weren't really my style. But clearly all the fans loved them because yeah. You'll be aight Merwan Rim. You'll have a non-Dove career, I'm sure of it.
Then we went over to a McDonald's to chill and eat AMERICA FOOOD till showtime.
As for the show itself, my seat was ridiculously far back but during intermission I found a spot near Léa and Véronique with another spot next to me for Lara. Something interesting happened... hmmmm I know it did I remember being like I HAVE TO TELL THIS TO THE INTERNET... oh poo I don't remember. Oh well. Mikele was... not on form...
Anyway we'd warned Véronique to park on the other side of the street so after the show the four of us grabbed each other and booked it to her car. We made it back to the Troupe's hotel is PLEEENTY of time and the first to show up, as usual, still in makeup, was Yamin.
The bus arrived, and this time I was freaking READY like, YOU WILL NOT EVADE ME BOYFRAN.
So I verbally pounced on Patrice as he went by. He grinned and went "Ça gaze?" and I just stared at him so he chuckled a little and tried again and I still didn't understand so finally he just smiled and said "Ça va?" Wtf you are so cute but why would I understand that. Anyway I asked him to sign Irina's postcard and he asked if it should be in English or French. I picked English because we all know how great it is when Patrice Maktav speaks English. He asked her name and I wasn't sure because I was still thinking of her as défaille from tumblr, and Patrice was like Ummm it IS written right here so... I'll just assume that's it...
The second we started talking to each other we got paparazzi'd by Léa and Véronique. From both sides.
THE SOCKS THE SOCKS LOOK AT THIS SOCKS OMG
and then as he was about to go away Véronique asked him for a picture. They were posing and Véronique was like GET OVER HERE ERIN AND BE IN IT so I creeped up onto his other side and, according to Léa who had the camera, that was when he started to smile. Léa is so sweet for shipping us.
And then, German Lara, who is my absolute life hero right now, told Patrice in English that she had a question. He grinned and nodded, obviously understanding but adorably not willing to try to speak English back.
And then. Lara said. "We saw your video about a toothbrush?"
Now if you aren't around my tumblr or the Florum you might not know how much I bloody love the toofthBRUSH video. I watched it like ten thousand times and I quote it every few minutes. If anything in my life is ever misplaced I have to start going "Ya don' know where it is? YA DON' KNOW WHERE IT IS?" and you know. Just. Everything. Every time I watch that video it makes me laugh harder, like to the point where I have tears in my eyes and have to pause it so I can just literally rofl for a while.
So I was laughing my head off that Lara was talking to Patrice about this video, and then Patrice turned to me with his eyes all shiny and asked in French Did you guys like it?? and I answered in French like UM YES WE QUOTE IT ALL THE TIME I FREAKIN and Patrice was so. Excited. I can't even express. He was still speaking French at me and making me translate for Lara because he was being all insecure and precious when he went My friends all thought it was rotten, but you guys liked it?? Really?? omg. And then he asked if his English was okay in the video. Omg Patrice Maktav how are you so adorable.
And that basically concluded the Maktav portion of the evening. I was elated.
Not much later, Nuno showed up! He was kind of hanging out in the parking lot instead of coming over to the crowd in front of the hotel, so people started kind of splitting off and going over to bother him. Including me! I have no idea exactly what the transaction was, but suddenly a fan was handing Nuno a USB key and Nuno had busted out a laptop.
I think she had pictures she wanted to give him or something? It was weird.
And even weirder, a short time later Nuno was being incredibly silly and was messing around with a guitar. And when I asked him to take a picture, he didn't put the guitar down. Instead...
Hahaha omg so delightful. Or, as my mom said, "If I didn't know a G chord I'd say he was subtly flipping someone off."
And while Nuno was doing silly poses with other fans, I noticed Florent Mothe had arrived and was being super sweet. So I decided to go get me a Floto.
When it was my turn, our conversation legit went like this:
"Flo. Can I get a picture? Since it's my birthday?"
*sassyface* "Oh?? I thought you wanted only to see Patriiiiiiice now."
"...oh my GOD."
And yeah, on that last one my shock made my accent come out and I heard my voice say "Aw mah GAWD!!" in just like. Lol I cannot even express it.
AND LOOK AT HOW SMUG FLO IS.
Hahahaha wowww. I love it when he's a douchebag like that, it's amazing. I think after the picture was taken I managed to say something like "You're still a cast member!" or something and he might have just gone "Okay" all meekly and gone inside. As soon as he was gone I was like UM DID YOU HEAR THAT??? and it was awesome.
Unfortunately, the night did not end on that beautiflo bombshell. Nuno had suddenly started an acoustic concert in the corner of the parking lot, and Lara and Joanna wanted to stay and listen, understandably. Me, I needed to lie down and recover from how ridiculous my life is. Sometimes I just need to rant on the Florum, then just lie down, stare at the ceiling, and grin and shake my head. Because I know I've gotten pretty relaxed around these people, I know it looks like I'm a glamourous superfan, but really if you are reading this entry right now chances are I am exactly like you. Unless you're Flo or Nuno. I say this more and more as my life gets more and more amazing, but the first time I watched Vivre à en crever and knew that this show was to be my new love I could never have seen myself here. Ever. Even if I'd made up an imaginary fantasy life where I lived in France and stalked the show around I don't think I would have dared to go so far as to say that people in the Troupe would be my facebook friends and know my name and have my number and actually text me sometimes and have running jokes with me and try to pronounce the name of my hometown. I don't know. I just want to make sure I never take this for granted and never forget how impressive and outrageous and indescribable my world has become.
Anyway. Joanna and Lara wanted to stay to listen to Nuno, who was singing beautifully (someone put videos on youtube) but I was exhausted and overwhelmed and needed to emotionally digest my life. Myriam the Mikele fan seemed to be ready to leave, so I gave my place in Véronique's car to Joanna and I decided to go with Myriam. Then unfortunately Myriam had a change of heart and decided to wait until Mikele came back out of the hotel to talk to her. So I sat on the curb next to her mom and we retold each other various stagedoor stories. Meanwhile Véronique went back to the hotel with two empty seats in her car because Nuno was still being awesome and Joanna and Lara didn't want to leave yet. There was this annoying dance music coming from someone's room, like, the dude had put the speakers on his windowsill for some reason, and it was mixing really weirdly with Nuno's voice and guitar.
Finally Lara and Joanna decided to return to the hotel on foot (that's an hour and a half of walking!) and I continued to wait for Myriam to give up on Mikele. Nuno started being funny again with the fans who were still waiting, like taking more comedic pictures and re-enacting scenes from Grease and just being generally adorable. At one point he noticed me standing there and came over and went "Yes?" and I was like Uh? and he went "Oh, I thought you wanted to speak." it was sweet.
And then, a miracle occurred! At four o'clock in the morning, Mikelangelo Loconte came back out of the hotel! He said something to Myriam! We were free at last!
What I didn't realise was that the girls were already four people in a teeny little car, so smushing me in in the corner wasn't easy, but they were sweet enough to do it. They turned on the radio and some song in English started playing and they started singing along in the cute way people do when they think they know the words but they don't actually speak the language, and then one of them suddenly went Uh-oh, look out guys, there's an American in the car! She'll know what we're saying!!
The car ride seemed to take ages and most of the other girls dozed off. Finally we were at the hotel and I thanked them a billion times before clambering out and flinging myself onto my bunkbed. Joanna and Lara got back only a few minutes later.
GOOD GRACIOUS THIS ENTRY HAS TAKEN ME LIKE SEVEN WEEKS TO FINISH.
ON SUNDAY I GOT PICTURES WITH ALEXANDRE NUMBER TWO, THE ONLY DANCER I'D NEVER GOTTEN A PICTURE WITH BEFORE IN MY LIFE
Also Hédi who is precious.
Also the Mozart van
Also Marjolaine's fantastic shoes
Also Floflo making a flone call
Look at him he's so pissed because I left him.
Aaaand then Léa, being a precious precious little thing, gave me a present!
First off, I never knew how I much I wanted a phone charm till I had one. Second, I am pretty sure those bracelets are good luck because every time I wear them something awesome happens.
I saw Patrice and his knee socks for like .24601 seconds but he was all rushed and I forgot what I wanted to ask him aaaand yep that was Sunday.
AND THEN I WENT HOME.
THE END.
WRITTEN AND ILLUSTRATED BY LESMISLOONY
NOW I NEED TO WRITE ABOUT CAEN.
