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Reposted from tumblr.
Dec. 2nd, 2011 08:55 pmSo I was having a pretty cool conversation with an okay-looking French guy on the dating site I joined, and suddenly out of nowhere he said this:
an arrogant but really sincere advice : lose some weight. u’re somebody really beatiful, but whose beauty can easily be a bit concealed by weight, i know it from myself.
and in any case, it’s paris ! :)
ps: hope it wont be offending !!!
Even six months ago hearing something like this would have shattered me. But thanks to the great curvy appreciation blogs on tumblr, the support of my friends, and the reactions of A LOT of other men on the same site, I was able to respond like this:
That actually is pretty offensive. I’ve struggled with self-image issues my whole life because of people saying things like that, and it’s the main reason I left the United States. Because of people like you I went on my first diet at the age of eight and have continuously emotionally abused myself ever since, but I’m finally starting to come to terms with myself. If you think I need to change what I naturally look like to impress other people, to starve myself or hurt myself again the way I used to, then I’m perfectly content to let future messages from you go unanswered and spend what little free time I have talking to the all other guys on here who aren’t telling me that I’m not good enough for them. I opened my profile on Sunday night because I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship that I let go on for months because I have believed my whole life that I wasn’t pretty due to my weight, so I thought this guy was the only guy I would ever get. I opened this profile to show myself that I was wrong and that I could find people who were interested in me without me having to keep on being miserable about what I looked like. I already have dates this weekend with two different people.
If you think beauty can be concealed by weight, you really need to redefine your definition of beauty.
Good luck with everything though. It was going pretty well for you for a second there.
I’m not upset. I’m proud.
(Also, I exaggerated a little by using the phrase "emotionally abusive" and I know that, but still.)
an arrogant but really sincere advice : lose some weight. u’re somebody really beatiful, but whose beauty can easily be a bit concealed by weight, i know it from myself.
and in any case, it’s paris ! :)
ps: hope it wont be offending !!!
Even six months ago hearing something like this would have shattered me. But thanks to the great curvy appreciation blogs on tumblr, the support of my friends, and the reactions of A LOT of other men on the same site, I was able to respond like this:
That actually is pretty offensive. I’ve struggled with self-image issues my whole life because of people saying things like that, and it’s the main reason I left the United States. Because of people like you I went on my first diet at the age of eight and have continuously emotionally abused myself ever since, but I’m finally starting to come to terms with myself. If you think I need to change what I naturally look like to impress other people, to starve myself or hurt myself again the way I used to, then I’m perfectly content to let future messages from you go unanswered and spend what little free time I have talking to the all other guys on here who aren’t telling me that I’m not good enough for them. I opened my profile on Sunday night because I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship that I let go on for months because I have believed my whole life that I wasn’t pretty due to my weight, so I thought this guy was the only guy I would ever get. I opened this profile to show myself that I was wrong and that I could find people who were interested in me without me having to keep on being miserable about what I looked like. I already have dates this weekend with two different people.
If you think beauty can be concealed by weight, you really need to redefine your definition of beauty.
Good luck with everything though. It was going pretty well for you for a second there.
I’m not upset. I’m proud.
(Also, I exaggerated a little by using the phrase "emotionally abusive" and I know that, but still.)
