(no subject)

Well, I guess my mom was right when she told me I was too caught up in getting back to the dorm atmosphere. Part two, the universe has taught me the hard way over and over not to depend on other people, and now I guess I know I can't expect there to be exceptions to that. I thought my time in France was a lesson in not isolating myself, but now I'm kinda confused because I guess I'll have to? Or idk, maybe it'll be easier to make new friends in a place like New York... Ugh. I don't know why the concept of making new friends intimidates me, when all my old friends obviously have nooo problem with it.

I think the worst thing is that after feeling like a nomad for so long my ability to get a pet and a venus flytrap and a cactus and finally put those goddamn blue suitcases AWAY has been postponed indefinitely... again. But oh well, at least I have access to a piano as long as I stay in my old high school room.

Anyway so about tattoos

We all know I have vivre à en crever on my left foot



I’m also sort of planning a big thing on my upper right thigh kind of like this:



but where it says “ich bin nicht / das Eigentum von dir” I’m leaning more towards “chase the morning / yield for nothing” in order to even out that random French line in the corner and also to incorporate my fourth giant obsession from my happy college days and keep with the whole ass-kicking theme

BUT the thing is four years ago yesterday was my Granny’s funeral and she was my favorite person ever, like every time I’ve moved I have this tiny ceramic bowl of flowers from her house with me and the last card she ever wrote me and a bulletin from her funeral service plus my teddy bear is dressed in clothes I stole from her house. Anyway in the card I always keep there’s a line where she says “I am so very proud of you” in her handwriting and it’s all shaky because it was right before she died, and sob story anyway

I was thinking about getting that tattoo on me in her handwriting, but the problem is I can’t think of another good place… I want any tattoo I get to be VERY easy to cover up, and I’m not a fan of the stomach region of my body thus am unlikely to ever lift a shirt to show someone a tattoo there (I’m having enough stress imagining an artist having to look at my big old thigh for however long it takes to do that Rose tattoo if I still want it next year) and I don’t love arm tattoos, especially in case I ever get a fancypants job (yuh right) because I’d need to wear long sleeves all the damn time.

So does anybody have a suggestion on placement if I want to start considering that “I am so very proud of you” tattoo?