DONE WITH A CAPITAL FUCK THIS

Perhaps you have heard me complaining about Gordo, the roommate who doesn't clean up after himself or flush the toilet and thinks he's better than me and shows it by constantly lecturing me about things like how my new job (at a publishing company) means me giving up on my childhood dreams of writing a book.  Also he frequently accuses me of sexism because misandry jokes hurt his feelings.  Basically just imagine the biggest MRA neckbeard brony you've ever met and that's it, that's the roommate.

Well for some reason I seem to be the only person who calls him out on things like leaving hours-old shit in the toilet and never doing his weekly chore, so of course I'm sort of the local bitch of the apartment, so much fun.  Also, I get some form of anxiety about leaving stuff that belongs to me unattended around people I don't trust.  I bought a four-tier shower shelf for the roommates one day and to soothe myself about leaving my shampoo, conditioner, and soap unattended I put rubber bands around them so that if someone wanted to steal some shampoo mine would be difficult to negotiate.  I didn't expect it to actually DO anything except help me feel better.

Until the other day when I went to shower and saw the rubber bands were off the bottles and lying across the shelf, meaning someone had touched my shit.  There was only one roommate home, so I sent him perhaps the most polite message I've ever sent, and our correspondence went like this:

( cut for your flists )

I am so fucking done that I have literally told Sophia that I'm moving out in a month. Luckily, I met the best person ever this weekend and she also wants to move soon, so we're going to be in a free no-Gordo zone by the end of the summer.

EDIT:

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SHIT

( continued )

I'M A BULLY FOR TELLING HIM TO FLUSH THE TOILET AFTER HIMSELF????????????