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Oh HELL no.
Jun. 20th, 2011 01:40 amI'm directionless but I want one thing for my life. I want to go back to France.
In December a fan told me I belonged in Paris and I thought she was crazy. That was six months ago.
I learned so much about who I am and what I can accomplish this past year. I went from a sad mound of judgemental flab eating ranch and crying over a poster of Mikelangelo Loconte to a hot-ass fake lashes wearing American who got kissed on the mouth twice by that glittery Italian mofo and was unfazed by it. I made a bunch of gorgeous famous men love and care about me and I can do anything I want to do and I only want one thing.
I will get back to Paris if I have to swim. If I have to go back and live in my parents' house and endure my mother's attempts to save my sexting soul then so be it, I'll save up my money and I'll stay up all night every night emailing French companies and sending out copies of my résumé. I'll tear the whole world up if I have to.
I'm going to use my little red phone and my plug adaptor again. I'm going to listen to NRJ again and someday I'll be at the stage door of a Florent Mothe concert.
I am not going to stay in this image-obsessed, shallow, spoiled country. I don't want anything else for my future so why should I let anything else happen to me? I know where I'm happy, I know where I feel confident and comfortable. I'm going to dress in pimkie clothes and eat franprix food and buy avocados from the sketchy guys selling them on the street corners.
I found some websites with amazing advice on where to start my job hunt. I can stay at home for a while if I know I'm working to go somewhere else.
This is what life is. When the world stops handing you everything you want on a freaking platter, you have to stomp back into the kitchen and find the shelf where they keep the platters before you can get your second helping. Well this is me getting out of my chair. Hell, I just kicked my chair over, and the table too for good measure. Tomorrow I'm gonna slam open the kitchen doors. I will not lose control of my life. I know what I want and I know what I'm capable of and now I'm going to bring those two together.
Place je passe, bitches.
In December a fan told me I belonged in Paris and I thought she was crazy. That was six months ago.
I learned so much about who I am and what I can accomplish this past year. I went from a sad mound of judgemental flab eating ranch and crying over a poster of Mikelangelo Loconte to a hot-ass fake lashes wearing American who got kissed on the mouth twice by that glittery Italian mofo and was unfazed by it. I made a bunch of gorgeous famous men love and care about me and I can do anything I want to do and I only want one thing.
I will get back to Paris if I have to swim. If I have to go back and live in my parents' house and endure my mother's attempts to save my sexting soul then so be it, I'll save up my money and I'll stay up all night every night emailing French companies and sending out copies of my résumé. I'll tear the whole world up if I have to.
I'm going to use my little red phone and my plug adaptor again. I'm going to listen to NRJ again and someday I'll be at the stage door of a Florent Mothe concert.
I am not going to stay in this image-obsessed, shallow, spoiled country. I don't want anything else for my future so why should I let anything else happen to me? I know where I'm happy, I know where I feel confident and comfortable. I'm going to dress in pimkie clothes and eat franprix food and buy avocados from the sketchy guys selling them on the street corners.
I found some websites with amazing advice on where to start my job hunt. I can stay at home for a while if I know I'm working to go somewhere else.
This is what life is. When the world stops handing you everything you want on a freaking platter, you have to stomp back into the kitchen and find the shelf where they keep the platters before you can get your second helping. Well this is me getting out of my chair. Hell, I just kicked my chair over, and the table too for good measure. Tomorrow I'm gonna slam open the kitchen doors. I will not lose control of my life. I know what I want and I know what I'm capable of and now I'm going to bring those two together.
Place je passe, bitches.
