(no subject)

[lesmisloony]

For anyone who hasn't been near my tumblr, basically I'm having a horrible time.

After nearly two months of unemployment I finally caved and went for a part-time job at a cinema here in Harlem.  I went in all excited and on day one realized that my new coworkers and managers were brash and rude and disrespectful, almost as bad as the customers.  Three weeks of constant, back-breaking and blister-inducing and demeaning work and I finally got my first paycheck... for $278.  My rent is $350 alone and that's only because there are four people crammed in this shitty little apartment.  There's also student loans, a metrocard, and my phone to think about, for starters.

So I went out and got a second job at my favorite restaurant in Times Square.  I've only done two shifts there, but juggling both schedules is going to be ridiculous.  I don't think I can leave the crappy cinema paycheck behind to live off the restaurant.

All this is leaving no time or money for any of the fun stuff.  I just keep thinking, if I was anywhere else this money would be enough.  If I were anywhere else I wouldn't be sending out five resumes a day with no response.  I can't figure out what I'm doing here.  So basically... I just cry a lot.  This city isn't what I expected.  This isn't Paris.  I can't see a future here.

For the first time in my life, I just want a little house in the woods.  In the mountains.  With a punch buggy and a pet pig and a job that pays me enough to fly overseas or up to NYC every once in a while.

Comments

[yobambam666.livejournal.com]

oh, man, that's too bad. This economy makes it so difficult to find a job... It sucks that your dream of moving to NYC let you down- I think that is one of the hardest parts of being a human; you have all these hopes and you build them up for so long just thinking about how perfect they will be- then if they don't pan out it hurts even more than if it had just been some spontaneous decision. If it's a spontaneous thing you can just kind of shrug your shoulders and go "meh, it was wort a shot", but it really feels like a betrayal if you've been looking forward to it for a long time. I get into these weird moods when I've been looking forward to something for a while, where I just kinda get more and more apathetic about it when it gets really close to happening. it's like a defense mechanism or something.

Anyway, if you decide that you are going for a new goal, or if you decide to stick it out there- i wish you luck.

[ulkis.livejournal.com]

what happened to the Target job when you were moving to the city? If they screwed you over that sucks

[mmebahorel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this.

Also, any chance of turning your au pair experience into being one of the three American girls in the city who offers childcare?

[lesmisloony.livejournal.com]

This has actually crossed my mind, but committing to another kid or family after my last experience... just thinking about it emotionally exhausts me. I actually tweaked my résumé a LOT today to tailor it for a receptionist position, which it wasn't before, so I hope maybe that'll make a difference? Somehow? I don't know. I want a full-time job and receptionist seems the most logical since I've answered phones in all my part-time jobs. Even a 15K salary would totally turn this thing around.

[lesmisloony.livejournal.com]

Ugh, that was a bust because the Target I had them transfer me to ended up being a 45 minute walk from the apartment. Anyway it's minimum wage too, so it wouldn't pay anything more than the stupid cinema does.